


Réveillon

by Hot_elf



Category: Dragon Age: Origins, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Christmas, Christmas Smut, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-28
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-02-23 00:39:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 26,769
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13178658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hot_elf/pseuds/Hot_elf
Summary: Alix Caron is lonely at Vigil's Keep, and when First Day comes around, she misses her native Orlais more than ever. Fortunately, Nathaniel and Anders come up with a plan to cheer her up. Written for the Secret Santa fic exchange on CMDA.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Shakespira](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shakespira/gifts).



**Réveillon**

The inlaid wooden box was one of the few things she'd brought with her from Orlais when they'd sent her to Vigil's Keep. One small memory of home, here in this strange and inhospitable country. It had been an honour, of course, to be appointed Warden Commander of Ferelden. An honour and a burden, but then, it wasn't in her nature to shy away from a burden.

Slowly, Alix raised the lid, smiling when her gaze fell on the delicately crafted First Day ornaments inside. The small clay figures of Andraste and the Maker were family heirlooms, said to have belonged to her great-great-grandfather who had been a cousin of the Emperor. Generations of Carons had each added to the collection, until a whole tiny village was assembled in the box: a shepherd with his flock, a baker and his wife, a strict-looking Revered Mother, and many more. She was looking forward to arranging them on the windowsill.

There was a sharp knock on the door, and she turned around to face her visitor.

"Commander." Nate Howe inclined his head in a respectful greeting. "My apologies for the late hour. I can come back tomorrow if you're busy."

"No, it's fine." Tentatively, she smiled at him.

Nate had just returned from a delicate diplomatic mission to Amaranthine and, Maker, the blue ceremonial Warden armour looked good on him! It emphasized his wide shoulders, and for a moment Alix caught herself wishing she could lay her head against them and rest for a moment, safe and secure, the way she used to do with Philippe, before he'd left for his Calling.

But she caught herself immediately. "What is it?"

His eyes had never left her face, and he looked… concerned, as if he had noticed something in her, some weakness that the others never noticed. "I just wanted to bring you my report." He handed her a scroll of paper. "The citizens of Amaranthine send their respects."

Alix sighed resignedly. "We both know they respect you a good deal more than me." And that was putting it mildly. When she'd first arrived, the mayor and the council had made it more than clear that an Orlesian wasn't welcome in their city.

Nate shrugged. "You are the Warden Commander and their Arlessa. They will have to deal with it."

 _Just like you do._ Alix nodded slowly. She knew it was unfair to take her frustration out on Nate. He had more reason to resent her than anyone else, being forced to bow to the woman who called herself _Arlessa of Amaranthine_ now, when the title should be his by rights. And yet, he'd never been anything but loyal.

"You're right." She met his gaze, and regretted it immediately, because already she was drowning in his stormy grey eyes again. _Damn it, Alix! Get it together._ Yes, Nate was damnably attractive, well bred and educated, yet rough enough to make things interesting. But there really was no point in losing her heart to him. _He likes men. He likes Anders, to be precise._ And that was a good thing. The two of them made a stunning couple, and ever since they had gotten together, Nate had been far more relaxed and less broody. Besides, Alix liked Anders. He reminded her of her Circle days, of the better ones, when there had been fun and flirting and magical experimentation.

"Commander?" Nate cleared his throat. "Anything else I can do for you?"

Alix had to swallow before she could answer. "No, thank you. I was…" She hesitated before she went on. This was private, and she wasn't in the habit of sharing private things with her subordinates. "I was just about to start decorating for First Day."

Nate's face lit up in a rare smile and he stepped closer. "Are those your ornaments? They're beautiful."

"Yes, they are." She spoke quickly, as if to hide the rapid beating of her heart. "They are called _santons_. It's an old Orlesian custom."

"And a very charming one." Nate opened his mouth as if to say more, but then he seemed to change his mind. "Well. Good night, Commander. I will see you tomorrow."

"Good night, Nate." She watched him go and then turned back to the box. Better focus on something tangible. Losing herself in dreams was pointless.

* * *

"I'm telling you, Anders, she's lonely. Terribly lonely." Nate shrugged off his shirt and tossed it onto a pile of clothes in the corner of their shared room. "And no wonder. It must be horrible, to spend First Day far from home."

"Yeah, well." Anders was lounging on the bed, already undressed. "You may be right. But what do you suggest we do about it?" He stretched, displaying his lithe body without the slightest hint of shame. "I mean, I know you have a huge soft spot for our Commander, but-"

"I do like her, yes." Nate knew he sounded stiff and formal, but he couldn't help it. "She's a good leader and a skilled mage. I respect her."

"And?" Anders prompted with a provocative grin.

"And yes, she's lovely. Pretty much exactly my type, if you have to know." Nate adored Anders, but, Maker, the man simply didn't know when to stop.

"Your type, eh?" Anders eyebrows flew up. "How interesting. So, your type would be… dark hair, dark eyes, slim, willowy, perky little tits…"

"Anders!" This time he'd gone to far. No matter what, Nate wasn't going to listen to such disrespect. "Stop talking about her as if-"

"Relax." Anders was still smiling. "If anyone should be offended, it's me. You know…" Slowly, lasciviously he trailed a hand down his own body. He was half hard already, and the mere sight was enough to make Nate groan. "I thought _I_ was your type."

"Damn right you are." Letting his pants drop to the floor, Nate sank down on the bed beside him and placed a hand on his lower belly. "Alix is everything I adore _in a_ _woman_." He drew a small circle on Anders' soft, pale skin, relishing the answering gasp. "But that doesn't change the fact that I love you. And I want you."

"Do you, now?" Anders' breathing had quickened noticeably, and, Maker, he looked so hot with his skin all flushed. "So… what do you intend to do about Alix?"

Nate was beginning to be a lot more interested in what was right before him than in his plans for Alix, but he reluctantly withdrew his hand. "I was thinking… Maybe we could organize a proper Orlesian First Day dinner for her. Here, in our room. We could hire a chef from Denerim, decorate the room, set the table, the whole nine yards. I think she would love that. I'm afraid our Fereldan customs are a bit too uncouth for her."

"Good idea. Yes, I can see that working." Anders chewed thoughtfully on his lower lip. "And afterwards?"

"What do you mean, afterwards?" Nate frowned at his lover.

"Don't tell me you haven't noticed the way she's been looking at you lately." Anders rolled his hips in a blatantly suggestive manner. "I bet she wouldn't mind a little taste of you." His gaze dropped to Nate's crotch.

There was no way to hide his body's reaction to Anders' innuendo, and Nate turned bright red. "You… Damn it, Anders, stop teasing me."

"I'm not teasing. Well, not just teasing," Anders amended with a crooked little half-smile. "Just saying… I might be open to suggestions."

"You'd step aside for a night?" Nate couldn't believe his ears. "You'd let me and her-"

"Not quite what I had in mind." Anders' grin widened. "Now, listen, will you? I have a plan."

* * *

Alix' expectation for the holiday had been low. Last year, when she'd just arrived here, First Day had been a nightmare. Lots of drink and raucous laughter, and she had felt like a sour-faced governess, unable and unwilling to join in their merriment. She'd been glad when it was over. This year, however, promised to be different.

Nate had approached her a week before the celebrations, with a dinner invitation for the eve of First Day. She appreciated the gesture, but she didn't really expect much, not even when he asked her to dress formally. Sure, it was nice to put on a proper dress again, to do her hair and to choose a perfume. But she told herself not to get too excited. This wasn't Montsimmard, after all.

When Nate opened the door for her, his face was sober and earnest, and his hands were shaking a little, as if he was nervous. He, too, had dressed up for the occasion, in a black velvet doublet that made him look both elegant and slightly intimidating.

"Commander." His rough, gravelly voice brushed against her skin like a subtle caress. "Welcome to our little _réveillon_." And he stepped aside, allowing her to see what they had prepared for her.

For a moment, Alix was too stunned to speak. She almost didn't recognize the chamber in all its holiday splendour. Candles were lit on the windowsills, in honour of Andraste, and a cherry wood log was burning merrily in the hearth. The room was dominated by a large table, set with fine china and silverware, and everything was decorated in a festive, yet understated manner, with large candlesticks and holly wreaths. On a sideboard, a veritable feast was laid out. Alix felt tears spring to her eyes when she recognized a log cake and several large plates filled with the traditional thirteen desserts.

And around the table, all her senior Wardens were seated, smiling at her and raising their wine glasses in greeting. All of them, even Velanna, dressed in fine garments and clearly on their best behaviour.

"Oh Maker, Nate." She turned to face him. "I don't know what to say. How did you even know-"

"Anders helped me." Nate pulled the mage close to his side and affectionately ruffled his fine blond hair. "He found some books on Orlesian First Day customs in the library. I just hope we got everything right."

"It's perfect." Alix forced back her tears to smile at them. "I… I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." Anders eyes were openly raking up and down her body. "Sweet Andraste, Commander, it's probably impertinent to say so, but you look gorgeous in that dress."

"Thank you." She felt a blush rise to her cheeks. "But there's no need for formalities tonight. Please, call me Alix. You, too, Nate."

He nodded, looking thoroughly pleased with himself. "Shall we have dinner then?"

"I'd love to." She allowed him to lead her to her place, shivering with delight when he breathed a quick kiss on her hand before leaving her.

Dinner was delicious and the wine excellent, and time just flew by, with everyone chatting and laughing. Before she knew it, midnight was approaching, and the guests were beginning to say their good-nights, yawning and looking content and sated. Alix' head was spinning, whether from the wine or from happiness, she couldn't say. For the first time since she'd come to this cold, damp country, she felt truly at home.

"Good night, Oghren." Nate closed the door behind the dwarf. Even he had somehow managed to remain sober enough to behave. "See you tomorrow."

Oghren had been the last guest, Alix realized. She should leave as well now, but she didn't really want to go back to her cold, lonely room. Before she could make up her mind, Nate dropped into the heavy armchair by the fireside, dragging Anders into his lap.

"Maker, that was fun." Without further ado, he pulled the mage into a kiss, not just a quick peck, but a real kiss, deep and hungry.

Alix looked on in utter confusion. While the two of them had never made a secret of their relationship, it wasn't like them to be so obvious with their affections. She felt like an intruder, and yet she couldn't look away. They were so incredibly hot together. Nate had taken hold of Anders' neck, and Anders was responding with his whole body to the kiss, moaning softly. Alix felt a tell-tale heat blossom between her legs. _Time to let them have their privacy._ They had both been so sweet tonight, and they deserved a little time to themselves now.

"I really ought to leave. Thank you both. I am more grateful than I can say." She was about to head for the door, when Nate's words stopped her in her tracks.

"Why don't you stay a little longer?" She would have assumed he was drunk or joking, but he sounded perfectly serious, and sober, too. "We wouldn't mind."

"What do you mean?" Her heart was racing like mad now, and she wasn't sure where to look. Had he noticed her reaction? She'd tried so hard to be discreet.

Nudging Anders gently off his lap, Nate got to his feet and walked over to her. "Please tell me if I'm overstepping, but…" Slowly, he extended his hand and placed it on her cheek. "You're so lovely, Alix. May I kiss you?"

"But… Anders?" Shivering all over, she quickly glanced at the mage.

"It's fine. Really, I don't mind." Anders was watching them without a trace of jealousy. "Would you prefer it if I left?"

"No!" The last thing she wanted was to make trouble for them. But, Maker, was Nate really suggesting what she thought he was? And Anders… If he was staying, did that mean that he was going to watch them? Or even join them? She felt a flash of heat all the way to her core. "Are you serious? Both of you?"

"Dead serious." Anders smiled indulgently at her. "Whatever you want to do tonight, I'm game. It's all up to you. Your decision."

"May I kiss you?" Nate repeated. "Please." There was an urgent note in his voice now, and his eyes had grown pitch-dark. Clearly, he found the whole scenario just as exciting as she did.

"Yes. Yes, please." With a small sigh, Alix closed her eyes, allowing him to claim her mouth.

He was gentle at first, but there was no shyness in his kiss, no hesitation. And she opened up willingly for him, because she had dreamed of this for so long: his mouth on hers, hard and forceful; his lean body against hers; his hands cupping her breasts.

Only those weren't Nate's hands, she realized with a sudden spike of lust. Those were Anders' long, nimble fingers, teasing her nipples through the thin silk of her dress, rolling them gently between his fingertips and then adding just the tiniest spark of magic. With a small, breathless cry she arched into his touch, drawing a brief laugh from him. And then there was more magic, flowing from his hands, lighting a fire all over her body. _Oh, Maker._ _Circle games_. She hadn't been with another mage in years, but the memories immediately came flooding back. A quick brush of hands, a sudden tingle of magic, a forbidden caress under the table in the library… Oh, she remembered, only too vividly, and she wanted more, right now.

As soon as Nate let go of her lips, she offered them to Anders for a kiss, moaning when she tasted him, wine and lyrium and magic, so hot, so perfect. Anders' kiss was completely different from Nate's, softer and more tentative, a question rather than a demand, and the contrast made her tremble even more.

"Alix…" Nate's hands were on her back now, playing with the fastenings of her dress. "Tell us if you want us to stop."

"I don't. Please go on." She was swaying on her feet already, and her nipples were aching with want. "Oh, sweet Andraste, Anders!"

He had his mouth on her breasts now, suckling gently through the silk, too impatient to wait until she was naked, and it felt so good she thought she was going to die. Behind her, Nate made a small impatient noise, and now the dress was finally coming off and Nate's hands were all over her bare skin. She had put on her finest lacy underwear, and they both groaned when they saw her in it.

"Let me see you, too." She gestured at Anders and he shrugged off his fine, dark red robe in a gesture of pure nonchalance. Underneath, he was stark naked.

"Why am I not surprised?" Alix muttered, taking in his long, lean body, the silkiness of his pale skin, the fine blond down of hair on his stomach. _Lovely_. "Do you even own any underwear?"

"Why bother?" Anders carefully picked up the robe and placed it on a chair, then turned to face her again. "Nate likes it, don't you, Nate?"

Nate responded with an incoherent grunt, his hands tightening around Alix' waist as he kissed a hot trail across her bare shoulders.

"And speaking of Nate…" Anders was back, embracing her, letting her feel his arousal against her stomach. "I think he's wearing too many clothes."

"Agreed." Despite her words, Alix whined in protest when Nate let go of her. He'd felt so good against her back, warm and solid.

He was back only moments later, though, and the heat of his skin more than made up for the brief interruption. "I want you in our bed." His hoarse whisper in her ear nearly made her faint. "Come."

Alix followed willingly as they led her over to the big four-poster. She wouldn't have dared to dream of this until tonight, and maybe they would all regret it in the morning. But for this one night, they were both hers, and she was going to enjoy every moment of it while it lasted.

* * *

Anders felt dizzy with desire, driven half-mad by the sight of the two of them on the bed: Nate's dark head disappearing between Alix' long legs; the happy little noise he made when he first tasted her; the expression of sheer bliss on her face – Anders almost envied her. He knew only too well what Nate could do with that wicked mouth of his, and if he was half as good at satisfying a woman, Alix was in for a real treat.

But Anders had no intention to restrict himself to watching. Alix had clearly liked it when he'd played with her breasts earlier on, and that was an avenue worth exploring further. Bending over her, he flicked his tongue once against her stiff nipple, smiling to himself when she cried out.

"So sensitive." He blew against her wet flesh, and she responded with a small, helpless moan. _And so starved for touch._ He didn't say the words aloud, but it was obvious from the way Alix was moving into their caresses. "Shhh, sweetheart." Gently, he brushed a strand of hair from her damp forehead.

"Anders?" Nate raised his head. "Come here."

 _Oh_. Anders was more than a little surprised. Alix seemed ready for more, and Nate was rock hard, trembling all over with desire. Surely, he would want-

"Come here. Now." Nate's tone brooked no contradiction. "Do you want him, Alix?"

"Yes, please." She sounded eager, so eager that it made Anders' cock twitch. "Oh Maker. I wish I could have you both."

"Patience." Nate was moving aside, making room for Anders. "I have no intention of forgoing the pleasure. I just want to watch you with him first."

"Damn it, Nate." Anders had to close his eyes for a moment to regain control.

Because now he was nudging against her heat, and she was soft and wet, and he needed to be inside her, without further delay. He entered her, slowly and carefully, until he felt a hand on his lower back, _Nate's_ hand, pushing him deeper inside her, and he nearly lost it. Two deep, shaky breaths took him back from the edge, but even so, he hardly dared to move at first.

Alix' eyes were darting to and fro between him and Nate, and she was trembling all over. "Anders. You feel so good."

"You, too." He began to start reciting alchemical formulae in his head, anything to keep himself from losing control. Because it was true – she felt like heaven, and his whole body was screaming at him to move.

"You're so hot. Both of you." Nate's hands were wandering all over her body, touching, caressing, and his eyes were feverish with want. "Anders. Move."

"I… Oh damn it!" And he allowed his body to take over, allowed himself to thrust into her heat, faster, harder, losing himself in her. And Alix spurned him on, with small urgent whispers, until he couldn't take it any more and the whole world went blindingly white as he poured himself into her. Dimly, he felt her clench around him, heard her cry out in ecstasy. And then it was over, and Nate was pulling him back, eager to take his place.

* * *

Alix hardly had time to catch her breath. As soon as she opened her eyes, Nate's hand was on her hip, urging her to turn over. Without thinking, she complied, pushing herself up on her hands and knees. She was still pulsing with the aftershocks of her climax, still aching from the loss of Anders inside her. And now Nate was pushing inside her, slowly but inexorably, spreading her even wider, because Maker, he was thick and hard and relentless, and she almost sobbed, not sure she could take any more.

"Alix?" Nate sounded concerned.

"Hey." Anders was at her side, breathing a kiss on her cheek. "It's fine. Just let go."

She felt a spell wash all over her, sweet and hot and tender, and suddenly everything was easy and her whole body relaxed. Nate must have felt the change. Groaning deep in his throat, he pulled back and then thrust back inside her, quick and hard. And somehow, pleasure was building again inside her, faster than she'd expected. Each sharp, pointed thrust of his took her higher, until she was begging, pleading with him for more. And all the time Anders was there, supporting her, adding the sweet tingle of his magic to the sensations flooding her body. It was almost too good to be true.

The second time was even better than the first, a rush of pleasure so intense that she actually blacked out a little. By the time she came to her senses again, Nate had collapsed on top of her, spent and breathless. Anders was holding them both, muttering soothing nonsense, and Alix allowed herself a moment outside of time, floating in their embrace. _Maker, but I needed that._

Finally, Nate pulled back, giving her space to turn over. "Are you all right?"

"A lot more than all right." She didn't bother to hide her blissful smile. "Thank you. Both of you."

"My pleasure." Anders' familiar cocky grin was back in place. "Literally."

"Yeah. Me, too." Nate sat back on his haunches. "Now… do we have some wine left?"

Alix watched him as he walked over to the table and filled a goblet for them. When he handed it to her, she accepted it with a grateful sigh. "What a perfect evening. I wish it could last forever."

"Well, the night is still young." Anders nibbled gently on her bare shoulder. "Isn't that what a _réveillon_ means? Staying up all night until First Day starts?"

"Technically, yes." Alix couldn't help but smile at his words. "Though I believe what we were doing isn't considered a traditional activity for this occasion."

"Then, maybe…" Nate took the goblet from her and placed it on the nightstand, then bent down to place a tender kiss on her lips. "Maybe it's time we made our own traditions."

"An excellent idea." Alix moaned as they both pulled her into yet another heated embrace. "I can't wait to see what the two of you come up with."

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

The morning dawned pale and cool, with the sun tinting the windows a soft rose gold. Alix yawned and stretched, feeling blissfully sore and tired. On the other side of the bed, Nate was lying on his back, staring pensively up at the embroidered canopy. He didn't speak, and Alix was glad. She wasn't in the mood for idle chit-chat, not after the night they'd shared.

Between them, Anders was curled up, breathing deeply and regularly, with a blissful smile on his face. He'd fallen asleep after they'd teamed up on him one last time, taking him to an exquisitely prolonged orgasm that had left him moaning and shaking. Alix shivered pleasantly at the memory. It was good to know she hadn't forgotten how to use her magic to drive a man crazy.

Nate shifted a little and caught her gaze. ''It's almost morning." He cleared his throat. "Time to go, if you want to avoid being seen here."

_Of course_. He was right. Much as Alix had enjoyed the past hours, she didn't relish the thought of having the whole Keep discussing what had happened. Nodding quietly, she got to her feet and reached for her dress. Nate was there to help her, and then, much to her surprise, he reached for his own pants and shirt.

She placed a hand on his arm. "I'll be fine by myself. You don’t have to-" 

"I want to." Smiling at her, he caught her hand and pulled it to his mouth, breathing a kiss on her fingertips. "Allow me."

It would have been silly to insist further, and besides, it _was_ nice to have him at her side as she made her way back to her quarters through the silent corridors. No one was up yet, except for the guards out on the battlements and the servants in the kitchen, and the Keep seemed wonderfully quiet, almost serene.

When they arrived at her door, Nate hesitated briefly, then pulled her into his arms for one last kiss. It was relatively chaste compared to the earlier ones, but even so, it left Alix trembling with renewed desire. If she hadn't been so tired, she'd have been tempted to ask him in.

"Alix." Nate's eyes were dark when he pulled back. "Thank you."

"No, thank you. Both of you." She swallowed. "I needed that. More than I knew. And it was wonderful."

"I'm glad." Nate's face lit up in a brief smile, but quickly grew serious again. "You know, we're here whenever you need us. I mean it."

"I…" Alix took a shaky breath. His meaning was clear enough, but really, she couldn't allow herself the luxury of such an arrangement. She was the Warden Commander, after all, and a stranger in a cold and inhospitable land. If people got wind of this whole affair, there was bound to be malicious gossip, and she couldn't afford risking her position for it. Still, this was neither the time nor the place to discuss the future. "I appreciate that. Very much."

Another quick nod at her, and Nate was gone. With a sigh, Alix let herself into her room, leaning back against the door as it fell shut behind her. _There's no point_ , she firmly told herself. Last night had been a wonderful diversion, a moment of delicious weakness, but now she was on her own again. And she could handle it. She could be strong again.

* * *

With a feeling of deep satisfaction, Anders surveyed the breakfast spread on the heavy oaken tables in the mess room. Orlesian delicacies were all well and good, but there was nothing like a proper Fereldan breakfast to start your day: Bacon and eggs and little sausages, sizzling with fat; thick, creamy porridge; and a huge mug of steaming tea, of course. Add the amazing sex last night, and life really didn't get much better than this. Sighing blissfully, Anders reached for a plate and began filling it.

"Anders. Good morning." Long practice helped him not to flinch at the sound of Velanna's shrill voice, right next to his ear. She seemed to be in a good mood, at least, smiling slyly. "I have to say, the Commander seemed really happy with your First Day surprise."

For a moment, Anders held his breath, but then he realized she was referring to the dinner. Or was she? He cleared his throat, doing his best to sound non-committal. "Yes, I think she loved the party. Those Orlesian traditions are really fascinating, don't you think?"

"Hmmm. Whatever." Velanna's disdainful sniffle made her feelings about human celebrations abundantly clear. "Orlesian, Fereldan, all _shems_ are pretty much the same to me. Having said that, I did like the food."

"Did you, now?" Anders had a hard time hiding his surprise. He'd never taken Velanna for a gourmet. "Well, at any rate the Commander was happy. And since that was the main point of the exercise-"

Velanna nodded. "We should all benefit if she's in a better mood. But, you'd better keep an eye on Nate."

"Nate? Why would you say that?" This time, Anders didn't bother to conceal his irritation.

"Well, it's obvious the Commander adores him." With a graceful shrug, Velanna turned to leave. "And they make a lovely couple, don't they? Are you sure you can compete?"

"You're being absurd." Shaking his head, he made for a table near the window, as far away from Velanna as possible. He certainly had no desire to continue this conversation. After all, it was obvious that she had just been trying to get a rise out of him.

And yet, as he was sitting there in the warm light of the morning sun, chewing his food, his mind kept wandering back to her words. Was there a kernel of truth to what she'd said, maybe? Should he be worried? Would Nate ever ditch him for Alix? On the surface, it seemed plausible enough: the way the two of them had looked at each other, Nate's eagerness to please her… And there was no denying that they were well suited to each other, in more ways than one. Anders' stomach clenched at the thought.

But then he remembered how Nate had gone out of his way to include him in their love-making. The feel of Nate's hand on his back as he'd made love to Alix; the look in Nate's eyes when Alix had taken him between her lips; the sheer, infinite tenderness in his touch, when he'd guided Anders into her body - none of this indicated any kind of decline of interest in Anders or lack of respect for his feelings. Quite the opposite, in fact. And Maker, it had been good, the three of them together, hot and sweet and all kinds of exciting. _So good_.

With a sigh, Anders speared another sausage with his fork, shaking off the unwelcome feelings that had assailed him for a moment. Either way, it had probably just been a one-time thing. He couldn't really see Alix committing to a _ménage à trois_ in the long run. _No need to worry_. It would just be him and Nate again, just as good as they'd been before. He nodded to himself in confirmation. _Yes. Good._

And yet, there was a tiny part of him that couldn't help but feel a touch of regret at the thought…

* * *

It had been a routine patrol to the Deep Roads, but by the time they'd returned to the Keep, they'd all had their share of surprises, good and bad. Nate was still fighting back shivers of revulsion at the memory of the broodmothers they'd fought. Of all the monsters and abominations a Warden had to face, surely those were the worst. It wasn't just that they were ugly and disgusting – no, it was the knowledge of what they once had been. Human, dwarven, elven women, now turned into monstrosities, spawning an unending cavalcade of horrors in an obscene parody of birth. He was sincerely glad that they had managed to save Sigrun from that fate, at least.

Nate glanced affectionately over at Sigrun. She was sitting next to Velanna, whose willowy height made her look even tinier in contrast, and there was a bright smile on her tattooed little face. She appeared completely undaunted by all their adventures, and she'd fought with a cheerful tenacity that had been a joy to watch. _I bet she'd make a fine Warden._

As if she'd read his thoughts, Alix appeared at his side. "I've talked to her." She gestured toward Sigrun. "I think she might be persuaded to join us."

"That's good news." Nate smiled encouragingly at her. "And Maker knows, we can do with some good news."

Alix nodded quietly. She looked tired and shaken, and Nate felt much the same. It wasn't just the broodmothers. They had almost lost Anders, in that last desperate fight, and with their healer gone, probably none of them would have made it out alive. Not to mention that the mere thought of something happening to Anders made his chest go tight. _Shit_.

Once again, it was as if Alix had looked straight into his head. "Anders is fine, Nate." Shyly, she placed a hand on his arm. "I know it looked bad, but he's tougher than he appears."

"I know he is." He swallowed. "It's just… Sometimes I wonder whether us Wardens can really afford to get attached to someone. If he'd died down there-"

"We all need someone to care for, Nate. Someone who cares for us in turn." Alix' voice was full of genuine warmth. "None of us can survive alone."

"True." For a heartbeat, he placed his hand on top of hers. "Not even you."

Blushing, she withdrew her hand, eager to change the subject. "Still, I wonder whether we have the right to ask this of Sigrun. Strictly speaking, there's no need for her to undergo the Joining. She's a member of the Legion of the Dead, remember?"

"But without us, she'd be on her own," he pointed out. "We can protect her. And if she really wants to keep fighting Darkspawn, she'll be much safer as a Warden."

"That's provided she makes it through the Joining." Alix' lips were set in a tight line. "But in the end, she has to decide for herself, I guess."

Just then, Sigrun bounced up to them with a bright smile. "All right. I've talked to the others and my mind's made up. Make me a Warden."

"You're sure?" When Sigrun nodded, Alix straightened up to her full height, suddenly every inch the Warden commander. "Very well, then. We'll have your Joining tomorrow, at first light, down in the chapel."

"I'll be there." Sigrun's expression had turned serious as well. "It's an honour, Commander. I won't disappoint you."

* * *

Alix nodded at Sigrun, doing her best to look calm and collected, but on the inside, an all too familiar worry was gnawing at her. _What if this is the wrong call? What if I'm sending her to her death?_

Nate caught her gaze as she turned to leave. "It never gets any easier, does it?"

"No." Alix sighed deeply. "No, it doesn't. If only- Well, I guess I'll see you all tomorrow."

"Commander." Nate's hoarse voice stopped her in her tracks. "If you want… We could come up to your room, Anders and I. If you don't want to be alone."

Alix felt her face heat up again. "I'm sorry, Nate. But I'm really not in the mood-"

"That's not what I meant!" Nate cleared his throat, looking embarrassed. "Just… to keep you company. To talk. Have a glass of wine, maybe."

"Oh." Alix felt stupid. "Yes, I think I'd like that." _Maker, yes!_ Anything not to be alone tonight, anything to avoid the doubts and fears chasing each other in her mind.

"We'll be there." Nate didn't smile, but his eyes were bright with happiness. "I'll just get Anders."

It took a little longer after all, until all her daily business was finished and the preparations for the Joining were under way, but an hour later, all three of them were getting comfortable in front of the fireplace in her room. Alix and Nate had settled in the two large, plushy armchairs, facing each other, while Anders was sitting on the rug at their feet, fiddling with the logs.

The room was peaceful and quiet, with no noise except for the crackling of the flames and the occasional squeaking of a floorboard. For the longest time, none of them spoke. Alix sipped her wine, savouring the silence, feeling it envelop her like a warm blanket, safe and comfortable. Nate was watching her quietly, never taking his eyes off her, but she didn't mind. There was nothing but sincere concern in his expression, no pressure, no urgency. He'd be there for her when she needed him, just as he had said, but he wouldn't impose himself on her.

Finally, Anders grew tired of staring into the flames. Yawning, he stretched like an oversized cat and looked up at her. "Remember my Joining?"

"How could I possibly forget?" Affectionately, she reached out to brush a stray lock of hair from his forehead. "You gave us such a fright when you fainted. I really thought you were gone there, for a moment."

"No worries." His smile widened. "It takes more than a little darkspawn blood to kill me. More than a hurlock's axe, too," he added, referring to their last fight, when he'd gone down after a nasty blow to his temple.

Alix' fingers grazed the pale pink scar, all that was left of that encounter. He'd been more than lucky, really. If the hurlock's aim had been a tad better, or if he hadn't jumped back in time, the blow would have split his head in two.

Nate made a small, stifled noise, clearly thinking along the same lines, and Alix quickly changed the subject. "A lot of people faint, when they drain the cup," she declared. "I believe you were out for a few seconds as well, Nate."

"I was," he admitted gruffly. "I guess we don't all have Oghren's constitution. Or his tolerance for dubious beverages."

"And that's probably just as well." She smiled at him, glad when he responded in kind. He had such a lovely smile. It was a pity he looked so broody most of the time. "Either way, I'm more thankful than I can say that the two of you survived. I don't think I could lead the Wardens without your support."

"Nonsense." Anders grasped her hand, squeezing it tightly. "You're twice the mage I am, Alix, and you're a great leader. Anyone able to keep Velanna under control has to be."

"Oh, come on. She's not that bad." Nate shook his head, chuckling softly. "Fun to talk to, once you get to know her better. And she really loves her sister."

"Well, yeah. In a murderously protective kind of way." Anders hadn't let go of her hand, Alix realized, and now he was stroking her palm, his touch light as a feather. "What about you, Alix? How did you become a Warden? You used to be in a Circle, didn't you?"

"Yes. At Montsimmard." It seemed so far away, that life she'd left ten years ago. "There's not much to tell, really. A group of Wardens came to the Circle, on a secret mission, and I fell in love with their leader. His name was Philippe."

Nate inhaled sharply. "And he asked you to join the Wardens for his sake? I mean, I can see why he wouldn't want to leave you, but-"

"No. No, he would never have done that." Alix laughed without a trace of humour. " _I_ was the one who wanted to join. I was nineteen, and I was completely smitten with him. I'd never felt anything like it before. I _begged_ him to take me with him. He refused at first, but-"

"Did you know what you were in for?" Nate's face still wore a dark frown. "You could have died in the Joining. You could have-"

"I knew there was a risk." She looked up to meet his eyes. "It seemed worth it, if only to get out of the Circle."

Next to her, Anders made a small, soothing noise, and she was glad to have him there. _He understands. He'd have done the same. Anything to be free._

"Anyway, Philippe talked to the First Enchanter, and persuaded him to let me go. It wasn't easy, but he could be quite stubborn." Alix smiled at the memory. "My Joining went without a glitch, and from that day onward, my life belonged to the Wardens. And to him. We were happy together. So happy."

"What happened to him?" Anders was still holding her hand, quietly supporting her. He must have guessed the answer already.

Alix swallowed hard. "Three years ago, he started hearing the call, and he left for the Deep Roads, only days later. We'd always known it would happen someday. He… he was quite a bit older than me, you see. It was his time."

"I'm sorry." There was no trace of anger left in Nate's voice now, just sincere compassion. "I'm so sorry, Alix."

There didn't seem to be much to be said after that. They finished their drinks in silence, and then Nate and Anders got to their feet and said their goodnights.

Some part of Alix wanted to beg them to stay, but the other part was glad to see them go, glad for a chance to regain her composure. Tomorrow, she'd have to be strong and confident, tomorrow everyone would be looking to her for guidance. She couldn't afford to be weak then, and she couldn't afford to wallow in her old sorrow. Straightening her back, she headed for her bathroom. Philippe wouldn't want her to be sad. He'd want her to soldier on, to look to the future.

And yet, when she crawled under her covers, there was a moment when the pain was just as fresh as on the day he'd left. She could still see him, in her mind's eye, his handsome face wearing a faraway look, as he'd risen from their bed to get dressed, putting on his armour piece by piece, drawing farther away from her with each buckle he'd fastened, each strap he'd tightened. Alix had wanted to make him stop, to cling to him and drag him back into bed, but at the same time she'd been paralysed, unable to move. One last kiss, one last embrace, and then he'd been gone. Gone forever.

The first weeks had been the worst. For as long as Alix could remember, she'd been used to falling asleep in his arms, usually after a steamy bout of lovemaking. Philippe had been a passionate lover, endowed with impressive stamina, and they'd been all over each other whenever they had some time to themselves. He'd known how to make her body sing, and even now, she felt a hot flash of arousal at the thought of his caresses, so skilled and so tender.

Her heart was still aching with loss, but at the same time, there was a dull, insistent throbbing between her legs, growing stronger with each passing moment. If Philippe were here now, he'd know without being told. He would reach out for her, even in his sleep, breathing a kiss on her neck, her shoulder, her spine, his strong hand cupping her breast and teasing her nipple. And she'd be wet for him, wet and eager, just as she was now.

Sighing deeply, Alix kicked off her blanket, which had suddenly become far too hot. Really, she might as well take care of herself, seeing how worked up she was already. And maybe it would help her sleep. Sliding a hand between her legs, she closed her eyes, trying to recapture the remembered sensations: Philippe's lips on her skin, his cock inside her, his moans spurning her on. She whimpered when her fingers touched her own flesh, already overheated with desire, already far too sensitive.

Just like when Nate had touched her the night before, even though he'd been trying so hard to be gentle. Just like- And suddenly, other images were playing out in her mind: Nate's fingers sliding inside her; Anders' mouth on her breasts, suckling with abandon; their bodies warm and firm on either side of her. And those new fantasies fired her up faster than she could have imagined, making her pulse and throb and whine with delight. Her whole body responded to her quick, fevered caresses, every cell alive with desire, burning with urgency. It took no time at all until she cried out, pleasure flooding her body and washing away all the tension and all the worries plaguing her in one brief perfect moment of ecstasy. For just one moment, everything was easy, everything was fine.

It didn't last. It never did. As soon as the euphoria had faded, the pain returned, even more piercing than before, the pain and the loneliness and the fear. Alix bit her lip so hard it almost bled. What had she done? Her memories of Philippe were the most precious thing she had, and now she'd gone and… desecrated them with her fantasies of others.

And yet, even as she was silently berating herself, some part of Alix knew it wasn't like that. Whatever had happened between her and Nate and Anders, whatever would come of it, it hadn't been some sordid affair. There was genuine respect between them, respect and affection. They cared for her, both of them, and she cared for them in turn. _Which is exactly what Philippe would have wanted for you,_ a tiny voice whispered in her head. _He wouldn't expect you to stay alone. He wouldn't ask you to. He'd understand._ Still, the feeling of having betrayed her love wouldn't go away, and it _hurt_. Maker, it hurt.

Alix ended up sobbing herself to sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The chapel was eerily quiet as Seneschal Varel reached for the goblet. Alix clenched her hands into fists, so hard that her nails dug deep into her palms. At her side, one respectful step behind her, Nate was keeping watch, a calm, reassuring presence, but even so she felt physically sick. Alix hated this moment, just before the actual Joining, when the life of a new candidate got thrown into the balance. She had seen too many ceremonies end in death not to dread the outcome.

On the other side of the room, Anders and Velanna were waiting, their faces unreadable. Even Oghren looked sober and restrained for once. He seemed to be quite taken with his fellow dwarf, even though Sigrun had firmly rebuffed all his advances. Still, it had to be nice for him, to have someone around who came from the same place, who knew what he was talking about when he mentioned Orzammar. Someone who understood. _Maker knows, I'd love that._

Varel's deep, carrying voice tore her out of her thoughts. "From this moment forth, Sigrun, you are a Grey Warden."

Sigrun's lips were set in a determined line. "Then let it be." She drained the cup without so much as flinching.

For a heartbeat, she kept standing, looking serene and unperturbed, and Alix allowed herself a brief glimmer of hope. But then Sigrun's eyes rolled upwards until only the whites were visible and she slumped to the floor with a loud thud. Anders was at her side in a flash, cursing under his breath. One look into his face made Alix' heart sink. This was bad.

"Shit! Shit, shit, shit!" Anders' hands were moving at frantic speed, sending wave after wave of healing energy into Sigrun's body, but she was convulsing badly, her whole body twisting into a stiff arc.

"What's happening? Anders?" Sinking to her knees beside Sigrun's prone body, Alix tried in vain to hold her down. She had never seen anything like this. Some candidates had simply dropped dead, others had fainted briefly, but this…

"No idea." Anders' face was a mask of concentration, but she could see his hands trembling with effort. "She's fighting, but I don't know how much more she can take. Damn it, I need-"

Alix knew what he needed. Power, more power than any lyrium potion could provide. And he needed it _now_. Without thinking, she placed her hand on his shoulder and focussed hard. Anders made a small, surprised noise, and for a moment, she felt him push back against her, but then he relaxed and let her in.

There was no big flash, nothing visible on the outside, but Alix felt Anders' spine straighten under her touch, felt his strength come back. Taking a deep breath, she let go, as far as she dared, pouring her magic into him, holding nothing back.

She had no idea how long it took. With every moment, she was losing her sense of self a little more, as the lines between her and his aura blurred further. All the while Anders kept muttering healing spells, kept fighting for Sigrun's life, kept going until the room suddenly dissolved around her, and everything went black.

It was Nate's hoarse voice that woke her. "You did it. She's alive. Maker, Alix, you did it, you and Anders."

Slowly, Alix opened her eyes. Garevel and Varel were helping Sigrun to her feet. She looked pale and shaken, but yes, she was alive. When Alix turned her head, her gaze fell on Anders, lying flat on his back on the floor. He looked pretty much exactly as drained as she felt right now, but when his eyes met hers, he smiled softly. Alix smiled back, almost overcome by the intense emotional connection she felt.

"You need to rest, both of you." Nate was making a valiant attempt at smiling, too, but there was a deep, worried frown on his forehead.

Alix nodded. "You take Anders up to your room and look after him. Velanna can help me. And later…" She closed her eyes for a moment, trying to regain her composure. "Will you come and see me tonight? Both of you?"

"Of course." One last squeeze of her hand, and Nate let go, moving over to help Anders to his feet. "We'll be there."

* * *

 

Anders leant against the mantelpiece, enjoying the fire's warmth, lost in his own thoughts. The morning's healing had been exhausting in more ways than one, but at the same time it had left him strangely elated. Doing magic with Alix, feeling her power pulse through his body as she helped him work the healing spell, had been incredibly intimate, almost more so than sex. He hadn't done this for years, allowing another mage so close, and he still wasn't quite sure why he'd done it. To save Sigrun, sure, but Anders didn't fool himself. If it had been anyone but Alix, he wouldn't even have considered it.

But he'd done it, he'd opened himself up to her, and by the Maker, he'd _liked_ it. Her magic had felt amazing, complementing his own like a missing puzzle piece, almost as if they'd been made for each other. He made a face at his own thoughts. _You’re letting your imagination run away with you, as usual_ , he silently chided himself. And yet, even now he felt a pleasant frisson at the memory of her power caressing his every nerve ending.

Alix had poured a goblet of wine for each of them. She had spent most of the day asleep, and she looked happy and relaxed for once. It was a beautiful look on her. Her dark hair, released from its customary strict bun, framed her face in soft waves, and she was smiling at something Nate had said. _So lovely_.

"Alix?" Anders barely raised his voice, but she responded immediately, her eyes meeting his with an expression that was almost… hopeful? Nervously, he licked his lips. He badly wanted to kiss her, but he couldn’t just presume. "Thank you. For what you did down there. I think you may have saved Sigrun’s life."

"Don’t mention it." Alix was blushing slightly, and it made her look even prettier. "Thank you for allowing me to help."

"My pleasure." He let the slightest hint of innuendo creep into his words, and he was pleased to see her blush deepen further. Yes, she understood him well enough, and clearly, the thrill had been there for her, too.

And suddenly, he couldn't wait any longer. "Will you kiss me? Please?"

He heard Nate inhale sharply, felt the sudden increase of tension in the room, like an electric crackle. Taking two steps towards Alix, he extended his arms with a hopeful look. She melted into his arms without hesitation, as if she'd been waiting for him to initiate the kiss. And when their lips met, it was heaven, sweet and soft and perfect and Anders moaned into her mouth, trembling with desire.

"Oh Maker, you are so hot together." Nate's hoarse whisper went straight through his groin, the knowledge that his lover was watching them, and that he was just as excited, just as worked up as he was.

Alix arched into his body, offering herself to him, practically begging for his touch. And he wasn't about to deny her. Not now. Not ever.

With shaking hands, he tried to work the sash of her robes loose, eager to feel her soft skin. When he cursed under his breath at the intricacy of the knot, she laughed softly, and then her hands were there to help him, quickly untying it. The thick velvet fabric slid to the ground, pooling at her feet. She wasn't wearing a breastband, and his hands found her breasts without further prompting, cupping them gently.

Alix moaned softly, her eyes closed in bliss, and she was so beautiful like this, with none of her usual barriers in place, open and soft and vulnerable. Bending down to kiss her deeply, he drank in her sighs, so sweet, so intoxicating. His robes joined Alix' on the floor, and now they were skin to skin, his hard cock pressed up against her stomach, and she felt so wonderful he could have died.

"Anders," she whispered against his lips. "Make love to me. Please."

Instinctively, he looked to Nate for confirmation, but his lover was still watching them patiently, still holding back, though the tense line of his shoulders showed how much his restraint was costing him. Alix made a small, impatient noise, and he was struck by an idea.

"Close your eyes." Slowly, he ran his hands all over her body, getting rid of her underwear in the process, and then he took a step back, breathing in deeply to focus his powers.

"What-" Alix gave a small cry of surprise.

"Shhh." With infinite care, he wrapped her in his magic, every inch of her, from her head down to her toes. And judging from her reactions, she _liked_ the feel of it, just as much as he'd enjoyed her power. She was practically writhing with delight, panting slightly.

Smiling to himself, Anders took another deep breath. _Now_. He had to concentrate hard to make this work. Levitation spells had always come easy to him, and they were common enough party tricks: pouring wine from a floating bottle, pelting an unsuspecting friend with flying peanuts, stuff like that. But this was on a whole different level.

Breathing slowly and steadily, he lifted her bodily from the ground. The moment her toes left the carpet, Alix cried out again, and her eyes flew wide open, staring at him with a mixture of shock and awe.

"Shhh," he repeated. "Lie back."

She opened her mouth, as if to say something, but then she obeyed, moving slowly until she was on her back, floating on the cloud of magic he'd shaped to support her. He waited until she'd relaxed, and then he gave her a tiny push, enough to make her drift away from him, over to the bed.

Nate had been watching the whole scene without saying a word, without even raising an eyebrow. But as soon as Alix had safely arrived on the bed, he got to his feet and began to take his clothes off, slowly, piece by piece. _About time_.

Alix looked slightly dazed, but not unhappy, and when Anders joined her on the bed, she pulled him into her arms without hesitation. He allowed himself one deep, slow kiss, but then he pulled back and began to work his way down her body.

He went for her breasts first, catching one nipple between his lips and suckling gently until it was stiff and rosy, then giving the other one the same treatment. Alix whined with delight, and when he moved on to her stomach, she arched up impatiently under him, making him smile.

Running his hands up her thighs, he revelled in the smoothness of her skin before he pushed them wide apart and slid even further down. And then he dove in.

* * *

 

Anders' mouth was divine. There was no other word for it, for the things he was doing to her with his tongue and lips and teeth, tasting her like the sweetest nectar, so eager, so _hungry_. And his fingers, long and dexterous, spreading her open, stroking her insides so deliciously that Alix wanted to cry.

Just when she thought it couldn't get any better, Anders pulled back a little, arranging her at the edge of the bed, and then Nate was there, thick and hard, nudging against her while giving her a hopeful look. When she nodded, he exhaled slowly, as if relieved. He kept holding her gaze as he pushed inside her, inch by careful inch. Once he was fully settled, he barely moved, just a few shallow thrusts, but it was more than enough. He filled her completely, providing the perfect counterpoint to Anders' skilful tongue.

Because Anders' mouth had never left her, teasing and soothing by turns, driving her higher and higher, until nothing else mattered but the pleasure building up inside her, so incredibly overwhelming it almost scared her. And yet she wanted more, needed more. Her fingers buried deep in the soft strands of his hair, she held Anders' head where she wanted it, because she couldn't allow him to stop, couldn't let go of him for a single moment, not when she was so close already. And Anders seemed to know instinctively what she needed, because once again, he increased the tempo and the urgency, his tongue fluttering against her like a thousand butterflies.

And Alix came, came with a long drawn out sob, came clenching hard around Nate, shivering and trembling all over. Anders pulled back a little, allowing Nate to gather her up in his arms and hold her tight, and she clung to his shoulders as if they were a lifeline.

"Are you okay?" Nate was chuckling softly in her ear.

"Yes. Just… I need a moment…" Alix was panting so hard she had trouble forming the words. "So good."

"Glad to hear it." His hands were warm and sure on her back, stroking her with the utmost gentleness until she had calmed down a little. "Now…"

Stretching out on top of her, Nate arranged her thighs around his slim hips, and she blushed when she realized he was still firmly lodged inside her, still hard and wanting. "Hold on." With one swift move, he rolled them both over, and now she was on top, straddling him. Carefully, he steadied her with both hands. "I think Anders would appreciate a little bit of your attention."

Anders was kneeling on the bed next to them, watching them with an expression of such sheer, naked hunger that it made her shiver. And he, too, was hard, hard and lovely.

"Come here." Alix smiled shyly at him, and he complied immediately, when he realized what she was suggesting.

The moment she wrapped her lips around him, his head sank back and he sighed, a long, happy sigh of relief. The muscles in his flat stomach fluttered as she took him in deep, and one of his hands found its way into her hair, tugging gently. Anders was always gentle, she thought dimly, even as she struggled to accommodate as much of his length as she could, always considerate. Nate could be rough at times, but Anders, for all his obvious impatience, would never push, never demand.

Closing her eyes, Alix focussed on tasting him, feeling him, working out exactly what pleased him. A quick flutter of her tongue against his flesh made him whimper, and when she suckled, softly at first, he made the most delicious noise in the back of his throat. _Ah, but this is just the beginning, mon cher_. Trailing a hand up along the inside of his thigh, she summoned a spark of magic to her fingertips, careful not to overdo it. He was so caught up in what she was doing to him with her mouth that he didn't realize what she was planning until her hand had reached its goal: that spot behind his balls where the skin was so incredibly soft. Placing her index finger there, she concentrated and-

"Andraste's curly short-hairs!" Anders practically yelped, and she felt him pulse against her tongue, so hard that she almost feared she'd gone too far. But somehow, he controlled himself, somehow, he fought his way back from the edge, and when he spoke next, his voice sounded feverish. "Again."

She obliged willingly, and when Anders cried out once more, Nate echoed the noise. He was watching her, watching them, his grey eyes dark with want, but he didn't move, even though she felt him twitch and grow inside her. And somehow the fact that he was there, caressing them both with his gaze, made everything twice as exciting. Anders was whining now, struggling to keep himself from thrusting into her mouth, and she knew it would take little more to push him over the edge. One more spark of magic, one last gentle suck, and he cried out, almost sobbing as he poured himself into her mouth, trembling all over.

And now even Nate's patience was at an end. The moment she let go of Anders, he thrust up hard below her, his hand on her lower back keeping her firmly in place. And Maker, he felt good, hitting her in all the right places, making her clench hard around his shaft.

"Damn it, Alix, you-" He sat up, gathering her close in his arms, catching her lips in a deep, hungry kiss, and at the same time, his hips snapped hard against her again.

Alix whimpered, too overcome to care what she sounded like, and clung to him, holding on for dear life as he took her higher and higher, holding her so close it barely left him room to move. Yet every single shallow thrust sent sparks of pleasure all through her body until she just couldn't take it anymore. Her climax hit her with an intensity that was almost frightening. She ended up biting down hard on his shoulder in an effort to stifle her cries, so hard that she tasted blood.

He was too far gone to notice, though, or maybe it was the brief moment of pain that did it, but he joined her only seconds later, pushing so deep inside her it almost hurt. "Alix. Oh Maker."

They were both panting when they slowly disentangled from their embrace. Nate flinched when she brushed against the large bruise on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry." Alix felt her cheeks heat up.

"Don't be." Anders was right behind her, his voice full of gentle amusement. "He can take it. And besides… See?" Reaching past her, he muttered a quick spell, brushing his hand against Nate's skin. The angry red welts immediately disappeared. "As good as new."

"Hey. I wanted to keep that. As a souvenir." Nate sounded genuinely offended, but at the same time he was grinning happily.

"A souvenir? Really?" Alix felt the corners of her mouth twitch.

"Mmhmm." Somehow, his voice sounded even raspier than usual. "I wanted to feel it, all through the day tomorrow. And whenever I'd feel the pain I'd be reminded of _this_." His gesture took in the whole room.

"My apologies." Anders was shaking his head with a smile. "I had no idea. Of course, you could always see about getting another one…"

"Sounds good to me." Nate tilted his head questioningly to the side. "What do you say, Alix?"

Alix couldn't deny that she was tempted. And yet, she was also tired, and her head was spinning with the implications of everything that had happened today. "I… I think I need some sleep now, guys. I'm sorry."

* * *

 

Nate would have loved nothing more than spending the whole night in Alix' room, but when she asked them to leave, he told himself firmly that he needed to respect her wishes. Not just because she was his Commander, but because he couldn't, wouldn't risk offending her. She had already become far too important to him.

He and Anders walked back to their own room. They cleaned up in companionable silence, and then settled on the big four-poster together. Anders seemed quiet, almost subdued, and Nate wondered what was on his mind.

 "So… What exactly happened down there, during the Joining?" He did his best to sound casual, but he probably wouldn't fool Anders. They knew each other too well for that. "I mean, I could tell that Alix somehow… I don’t know, added her power to yours, but-"

"It was more than that, Nate." Anders closed his eyes for a moment. "It's… I'm not sure I can really explain this to someone who's not a mage himself."

"Try me." Nate shrugged, feeling a teensy bit offended.

"What she did…" Anders swallowed hard. "It’s not something you’d usually offer, or accept, for that matter. Not unless you’re very close already."

"Why?" Nate was genuinely intrigued now. "It seems really useful."

"Yes, but…" Anders bit his lip, avoiding his gaze. "When you open your power channels like this, when you allow a connection of this kind… it’s not just magic that travels. It’s your thoughts, your feelings, part of your innermost self. And that’s not something you’d share with just anyone."

"I see." Nate nodded slowly. "So… when you were connected to Alix, what was she thinking? Or feeling?"

"It's not like that. I can't read her thoughts clearly, just get a feel for her emotions." Again, Anders hesitated. "And I'm not sure I ought to even tell you. I don't want to betray her trust. Then again, it kind of concerns you too." He took a deep breath. "She was sad. Sad and confused. I think some part of her is still grieving Philippe, her lover. They must have been incredibly close. And yet… I believe she’s falling in love with you, Nate."

"With me? Or with us?" Nate hadn't missed the flash of anxiety on Anders' face.

"Oh." Anders' expression became more confident. "I hadn't actually… But yes, it could be both of us, I guess. Anyway, there is definitely _something_. Maybe she doesn’t even really know it herself, or she won’t allow herself to feel it, but she cares. It’s not just sex."

Nate felt a shiver run down his spine. Extending his hand, he pulled Anders closer. "And how do you feel about that? Do you mind?"

"No, I don't think I do." Anders shook his head, looking dazed, and somehow bewildered. "I mean, I need more time to process all of it, but no. I think I'm good with it. Unless you want me to leave?" There it was again, this flash of vulnerability in his face, and it broke Nate's heart.

"Never." He tightened his hold on Anders' slim body, embracing him fully now. "Don't even think about it. I love you."

Anders' face lit up in a sudden sweet smile. "And I love you. Let's talk about this tomorrow, okay? I'm tired."

 

 


	4. Chapter 4

It was one of those pale, undecided mornings, not quite winter any more, but not quite spring yet either. Despite the fire burning brightly in the hearth, Alix shivered in the damp morning air. "They did warn me about the weather," she muttered under her breath, not really expecting an answer.

Nate looked up from the long columns of numbers he'd been checking, the corners of his eyes crinkling in an amused smile. "Are you cold?"

"Of course I am." Alix threw him a dark glance. "This room is draughty. I'll have one of the workmen check the windows later."

"Sure." Nate shrugged. "But don't expect too much. Not a lot you can do at this time of the year in an old place like the Keep." He, of course, looked perfectly snug, and didn't seem to mind the weather the slightest bit. But then, he was used to it. _His parents probably made him sleep with open windows all year long_. The skin on her arms rose in gooseflesh at the mere thought.

She was about to say more, when a knock on the door interrupted them and Seneschal Varel's grey head appeared in the doorway. "Commander. His Grace, Teyrn Fergus Cousland is here to see you."

Next to her, Nate tensed, but Alix was too surprised to waste much thought on his reaction. "Teyrn Cousland? What an unexpected honour. Please show him up at once."

Varel must have anticipated her answer, because only moments later, Fergus Cousland was ushered in. His face was flushed from his ride in the cold air, and he was wearing simple hunting leathers, yet his posture and demeanour left no doubt as to his status. Taking off his gloves, he executed a quick, polite bow in Alix' direction, but when he saw Nate, his expression darkened. "Commander Caron. I was hoping to talk to you in private."

"Your Grace." Alix returned the bow, keeping her features carefully composed, though she was quite a bit irritated by his words. "I think Nathaniel should stay, if you don't mind. He's my second-in-command, and-"

"As I said, I'd prefer to talk to you in private." The teyrn's tone was icy, just this side of rude, and Alix felt her left eyebrow fly up.

"I think it's up to me-" She didn't get any further, though.

"Don't bother, Commander." There was a faint, almost imperceptible tremble in Nate's voice, and he was already at the door, reaching for the latch. "You can brief me later." And he was gone.

"Your Grace?" Alix turned to face the teyrn again, not bothering to hide her irritation any more. For a moment, she considered asking him what that whole scene had been about, but then she decided against it. The teyrn barely knew her. He wasn't likely to confide in her, and besides, there were more urgent matters to deal with first. "To what do I owe your unexpected visit?"

"Darkspawn." Fergus Cousland was clearly a man of few words. His handsome face was set in a grim mask of anger, or was it worry? "There have been sightings near Meadowsweet; one of the villages that owe allegiance to Highever. I have come to request your help." It was clear that he didn't like to ask, but at the same time, he was probably smart enough to know that the Wardens were far better equipped to deal with this sort of problem than he was.

Alix nodded. "You shall have it. I can send a few of my Wardens with you straight away. Did your reports say how many?"

"Just a few genlock archers, from the sound of it. So far, no one has been killed, thank the Maker." The teyrn seemed a little more relaxed, now that he knew she would help. Well, at least he cared about the people who farmed his lands. "They may have one of their sorcerers with them, though. Some of the reports mentioned spellcraft."

"An emissary?" Alix frowned. Better send Velanna with him, then. Anders would be an even better choice, but she was reluctant to let him out of her sight for so long. When all was said and done, he was still very much a wanted fugitive in Ferelden, and if she wasn't there to protect him... "All right. My Wardens will be ready to leave in an hour. Or would you rather stay for dinner?"

Fergus Cousland shook his head, his frown back in place. It was really a pity that he seemed so set on being grumpy, Alix thought. She had met the teyrn only briefly before, and she would have liked to get to know him better. After all, they were practically neighbours, and they had plenty of common interests.

But not today, it seemed. "Begging your pardon, Commander, but I really need to get back to Highever." Another quick bow.

"Of course." Alix nodded back.

As soon as they had said their goodbyes and she'd arranged for a small group of Wardens to join the teyrn, she set out to find Nate. But he wasn't at any of his usual haunts. Neither the Great Hall nor the archery range yielded any results, and he wasn't in his room either. She briefly considered checking the library to see if he was with Anders, but on the way there, she ran into Sigrun and, on impulse, decided to ask her.

"Nate? I saw him go up there, about an hour ago." Sigrun pointed towards a side staircase. "Didn't look too good. Any idea what's wrong with him, Commander?"

"Not yet." Alix was getting more confused by the minute, but she was determined to get to the bottom of this.

There was a door at the top of the staircase, and it led to a part of the Keep that she was unfamiliar with. A gallery, with windows on one side and paintings on the other. The walls were hung with family portraits, some of them old enough to almost disappear behind a thick patina of grime and smoke. They depicted a long line of grim-looking Fereldan noblemen, some of them on horseback, others on foot, most of them wearing armour of some kind. There were a few women, too, looking haughty and dressed in somber colours, without frills or fripperies. A serious lot, all of them, and the backgrounds of heavy oaken furniture or soggy landscapes with leaden grey skies didn't help to lighten the atmosphere.

She found Nate at the far end of the gallery, slumped against the outer wall facing the final portrait, a mostly empty wine skin in his hand. He looked dishevelled, and as she approached he took yet another drought straight from the skin, spilling some wine on his jerkin in the process.

"Alix." His speech was only slightly slurred, but his eyes looked bloodshot, as if he'd been crying, and his voice was even more hoarse than usual. "My apologies. I'll be back down in a little while."

She brushed his words away with an impatient gesture. "There's no rush. But…" Her glance fell on the painting, and she hesitated.

It showed a tall, dark man with a hawklike nose, dressed all in black. There were two boys with him, maybe ten and thirteen years old. The older of the two had to be Nate, Alix realised with a pang. The resemblance was quite unmistakable. Which meant that the man was his father, Rendon Howe, who had been killed during the Blight by the Hero of Ferelden, as a punishment for his many crimes. A well-deserved punishment, by all accounts.

He didn't look particularly evil, Alix thought, just a bit severe and rather humourless. His hand was resting on the younger boy's shoulder in a protective gesture, and he seemed proud of his two strapping heirs. But there was a tenseness in the boys' expressions that didn't quite match his fatherly pride, and neither of them was smiling. And suddenly, Alix noticed the long riding whip Rendon Howe was wearing at his side. It seemed an odd choice of accessory to be portrayed with.

"Your father?" Carefully, she placed a hand on Nate's shoulder, but he shook her off with an angry snarl.

"Yeah, that's him. The traitor. The monster. The most hated man in Ferelden." Nate practically spat out the words. "My dearest father."

Alix decided to ignore his outburst. "And your brother?"

"Yes. Tom." For a moment, Nate's face softened, but then grief washed over his features like a sudden flood. "He was a sweet kid. Not all that bright, but-" He broke off. "Doesn't matter. He's gone."

"I'm sorry, Nate." Gingerly, Alix got down on her knees next to him. "But why-"

"Why am I sitting here, wallowing in self-pity?" Nate's voice nearly broke on the last word. "Maybe you should ask Teyrn Cousland." He closed his eyes, swallowing hard. "Damn it, we used to be friends. And now, he won't even look at me, did you notice? And who can blame him?"

"Nate, please." Alix was getting a teensy bit impatient. "Won't you tell me-"

He was on his feet in a surprisingly quick and graceful move, staring down at her as if he'd never seen her before. "I don't want to talk about it. Leave me alone, will you? It's none of your business anyway."

Alix was too stunned to reply, watching in silence as he stumbled toward the door and disappeared. _What in Thedas was that about?_

Anders came to see her, later that night, knocking softly on her door.

"Nate's asleep," he replied to her unanswered question. "I've given him a drought that should help him rest a bit. He's going to have a hell of a hangover, though. And I bet he'll be sorry in the morning." With a sigh, he accepted the offered chair, stretching his long legs. "What did he tell you?"

"Not much." Alix shook her head. "Just that he and Fergus Cousland had been friends. And clearly, they are no longer on speaking terms, but-"

"They were more than just friends," Anders interrupted her. "He wouldn't tell me either, but I got the whole story from Varel one night. It's not pretty."

"Tell me." Alix was just about ready to make it a command. "Now."

Anders nodded. "Fergus Cousland and Nate… they practically grew up together, Alix, almost like brothers. Nate spent most of his summers with the Cousland children, from what I gathered. And I think he was in love with Elissa, Fergus' younger sister, and hoped to marry her. But then, his father sent him away to the Free Marches as a squire or whatever you noble ponces call it, and while he was gone…"

"Arl Howe turned traitor." Alix had been given a quick summary of this part of the story as part of her briefing when she arrived in Ferelden. "He attacked Highever, right?"

"Not so much attacked it." Anders shook his head. "He and his men came there as friends, and then they turned on their hosts during the night. The old teyrn was slain by Arl Howe's soldiers. They killed Elissa and her mother, too, and…" He took a deep breath. "Fergus' wife and his little son were murdered in their beds. The kid was four or five years old, I believe."

For a moment neither of them spoke, until Alix found her voice again. "Maker. What a nightmare."

Anders nodded in agreement. "Yup. I… I don't know about you, but I always thought us mages had it bad. And we do, but this… This is a whole other kind of messed up." He looked up to meet her gaze. "When Nate learned what had happened, he wanted to die. That's why he broke in when you first arrived here. He was hoping for the executioner's axe. A quick, clean death, an end to his pain. He never expected you to pardon him, much less to trust him. It… it means a lot of him, Alix, that you've given him a chance to redeem himself. But he's still hurting. And I think some part of him always will be."

"But none of this is his fault." Alix' heart contracted almost physically at the thought how much pain and guilt Nate was carrying. "He's not his father."

"No, he's not." Anders' smile was slightly crooked, but full of warmth. "But he loved his father, Alix, and he was proud to be an arl's son. You may not have realised it, but Nate can be an arrogant bastard sometimes." There was a world of affection in his tone that belied his words. "I'm not saying I understand it, because, from what I can tell, his father was an abusive asshole, but-"

"Doesn't matter." Alix felt suddenly very tired. She hardly remembered her own parents who'd sent her off to the Circle when she'd been just a little girl, but the few pale memories she had, she still treasured, in spite of everything. "Poor Nate."

Anders nodded quietly. "I should go. Nate-"

"Of course. He needs you." For a heartbeat Alix wanted to join him, but then she decided against it.

Her heart was breaking for Nate, after all those revelations, and she wanted to hold him and comfort him and help him chase away the ghosts of the past. But she firmly told herself that it wasn't her place to do so. Nate had Anders, and he didn't need her. Anders, who knew him and understood him. Anders who loved him deeply and without reservations.

_Stay out of this, Alix. It's for the best._

* * *

Nate was an early riser as a rule, but he was still fast asleep when Anders got up the next morning, and Anders didn't have the heart to wake him. He looked so exhausted, with deep shadows under his eyes, his cheeks dark with stubble, as if he hadn't rested in years.

But when Anders returned about an hour later, Nate was awake and sitting up, leaning against the headboard. He still looked tired and a bit dishevelled, but no longer quite as wrecked. Which was quite impressive considering the amount of alcohol he'd downed last night.

"Hey there." Sitting down on the edge of the bed, Anders reached out to push back an errant strand of hair from Nate's cheek. "Better now?"

"Much better." Nate cleared his throat. "Alix is going to be mad at me, though."

"Don't worry." Twisting around, Anders took a goblet of water from the nightstand and handed it to him. "I had a chat with her last night. She understands."

"What did you tell her?" Nate almost growled the question, but he eagerly reached for the water, downing it in one big gulp.

"Enough." Anders shook his head. "Now, will you please get over yourself and stop taking out your anger on us? The past is past. No use dwelling on it."

"If only it was so easy." Nate put the goblet aside with a deep sigh. "But for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"No need." Anders shrugged. "You know I love you. It's all good."

"I'm still sorry." Leaning back, Nate stretched lazily, displaying the whole expanse of his bare chest. "Anything I can do to make it up to you?"

Against his will, Anders swallowed, almost overcome by a sudden urge to weave his fingers through the dark curls, and he quickly turned his head to look away and gather his wits. But of course his mind went straight to the obvious answer to Nate's question, even though he was mad at himself for even thinking about sex when Nate was in so much pain. Then again, maybe a little distraction would do him good… No, Anders decided. He wouldn't be so crass as to-

"Come on. You know you want to." To his surprise, Nate was smiling, a slightly lopsided grin, but a smile nevertheless. "Has anyone ever told you that your face is like an open book? I could read every single one of your dirty thoughts there."

Anders felt his cheeks heat up. "I… Oh, damn it, Nate, you tease."

"I wasn't teasing." Nate's hand slowly trailed down the front of his robes. "I'm perfectly serious."

_Oh damn. That's not fair._ Anders wasn't stupid. He knew why Nate was doing this, knew he hated to be seen as vulnerable, knew he needed to be back in charge. Then again, Anders was not at all averse to giving him what he wanted in this particular case. "Are you sure-"

"Absolutely." Smiling fully now, Nate gently pulled him closer, until Anders was kneeling between his outstretched legs, and slowly and methodically began untying the sash of his robes. "Relax. Let me-"

Already his hands were on Anders' bare skin, going straight for his cock without the slightest hesitation. Anders gasped hard, but he could think of no reason to resist when he was pulled even closer. And suddenly he was engulfed by the warmth of Nate's mouth and it felt so damn _good_. "Fuck, Nate!" There was nothing he could do except cling to the headboard and hold on for dear life as Nate took him in deep, holding him firmly in place with both hands.

As usual, Anders desperately tried to keep his wits about him for as long as he could, because he wanted to feel _exactly_ what Nate was doing to him, every flick of his tongue, every scrape of his teeth. But, as usual, it was hopeless. Within moments, he was reduced to a shivering mess, whimpering and begging for more. And Nate knew it, of course, the bastard, he knew exactly what he was doing to Anders, and he was enjoying himself tremendously.

Without missing a beat, he looked up to meet Anders' gaze, winking at him to let him know he could let go, and Anders lost it completely, his hips snapping forward of their own accord. There was simply no holding back any more, no matter how hard he tried to be gentle, to be _considerate_. His whole being was consumed by the need to move, to thrust, hard and fast. And Nate _loved_ it, loved every second of it, judging from the happy noises he was making.

Some part of Anders still couldn't quite believe that it was okay to take his pleasure so shamelessly, so recklessly. The first time he'd allowed that to happen, he'd felt ashamed afterwards, as if he had _used_ Nate. But Nate had been completely unconcerned. "I can take it, you know. It's a simple trick, really. And I love it when you lose control."

Control was the last thing on Anders' mind as he came right into Nate's willing mouth, shivering and moaning, his eyes pressed firmly shut because if he had looked he would have blacked out, he was sure of it. It was a close call as it was. By the time he was thinking clearly again, Nate had just about finished licking him clean and was gazing up at him with a warm smile. "Good?"

"Perfect," was all Anders managed to gasp. He was still seeing stars.

"Glad to hear I can still compete, even without magical talents." Nate was smiling, and his tone was light, but Anders wasn't fooled. Some reassurance was clearly called for.

"You've never needed any magic to drive me crazy, and you know it." Bending down, he caught Nate's lips in a long, hungry kiss, and for what seemed like an eternity, they stayed like this, sharing one breath, drinking in each other's moans and sighs until they finally pulled apart.

"Good. And now…" Nate's voice seemed to have dropped another octave, and his gaze had turned predatory. "My turn."

And Anders was only too happy to let him have his way, lying back and watching, shivering with anticipation as Nate spread his legs and got to work on him, slowly and thoroughly. He wasn't playing around, but he seemed determined to drive Anders to his limits today, and he was taking his own sweet time doing so. By the time Nate finally judged him ready, Anders was half hard again and _aching_ for his lover, yearning to be taken.

"Nate, please. Don't make me wait any longer." He felt a tremble race down his spine at the look on Nate's face. " _Please_."

"Patience." But Nate was trembling, too, as he carefully aligned himself, keeping his eyes locked on Anders' face when he slowly began pushing forward. "Relax."

"I'm good." And he was, more than good. Arching up high into Nate's embrace, Anders lost himself in the feel of his lover inside him, in the slow, gentle rhythm of his strokes, so deep, so perfect. "Maker, Nate, don't stop. Ever."

"I don't think I can guarantee that." Nate's voice sounded strained already, showing how much the slow pace cost him. "Fuck, Anders, you-" Abruptly, he stopped, holding himself up on both arms, his eyes closed, taking deep laboured breaths, until he had calmed down sufficiently to go on.

Anders did his best to stay calm, to give him a chance to collect himself, though some part of him was sorely tempted to _move_ , to urge Nate on, to break his control. But not this time, he knew instinctively. This time, Nate needed to be the one who set the pace. It took a while, but Nate did regain his focus eventually. Still, when he moved again, it wasn't quite as slowly and gently as before, and Anders revelled in it. Deep, long strokes that rocked him to his very core, each one more forceful than the last, an inexorable build-up that made them both tremble with anticipation.

At some point, Nate reached down to take hold of him, working him in time with his strokes, and everything became twice as intense, twice as overwhelming. Anders didn't even notice the exact moment he tumbled over the edge. All he knew was that suddenly he was crying out, his whole body flooded with an ecstasy so intense there were simply no words for it. And he knew Nate was there with him, he heard his lover gasp and felt him shudder as he reached his own climax, and they were clinging tight to each other, both of them too overcome to speak.

It took them a while to find their bearings afterwards, to clean up and get dressed, ready to face another day. As they left the room, Nate briefly caught his hand, squeezing it hard. "Thank you."

"Thank you." Anders smiled at him. "Come on. Let's find Alix."


	5. Chapter 5

The outer courtyard of the Keep was bustling with activity at this hour, early in the afternoon. The acrid smoke of burnt hooves from the smithy filled the air, and there was a constant background noise of people talking, heavy wagon wheels rumbling on the cobblestones, and tools clanging. Everyone was going about their business, yet no one seemed to be in a rush. After all, there were only so many hours in a day, and there would be more to do tomorrow, no matter how hard they worked.

It was a peaceful scene despite the hustle, and Nate loved it. It reminded him of his childhood, when he'd taken every opportunity to sneak away from his strict tutors and spend some time outdoors, playing tag with the workmen's children or practising with his bow. The sights and smells and noises were as familiar to him as his own heartbeat, or his reflection in the mirror. This was _home_.

He was in the middle of a pleasant chat with Samuel, the old groundskeeper, when there was a commotion at the gatehouse and the horn signalled the arrival of strangers. Nate hastily excused himself and hurried up the stairs to the nearest guard tower to see what it was all about.

A small group of riders was coming toward the Keep at a leisurely pace. Riders in Warden armour, if he wasn't very much mistaken. Nate frowned. This week's patrol had left only two days earlier, and they hadn't taken any horses, since they were headed for a Deep Roads entrance only half a day's march from the Keep. Besides, none of the riders looked familiar. There were only four of them, not enough to be considered a threat, but just to be on the safe side, he signalled for the archers on the battlements to be alert before he made his way to the gate. He arrived just in time to hear them announce their presence to the gatekeeper.

"We are Wardens from Jader, here to talk to Commander Caron. I am Warden-Lieutenant de Villars." The leader of the small troop was a woman, seated atop a glossy black charger and wearing leather armour. She was pretty, Nate thought, in a tough, no-nonsense way, her eyes clear and blue, her blonde hair tied back in a simple ponytail. "Well, what are you waiting for? Inform Commander Caron of our arrival." Her Orlesian accent was pronounced and her tone crisp. Clearly, she was used to being in charge.

Drawing himself up to his full height, Nate stepped closer, taking hold of her horse's reins. "Welcome to the Keep, Lieutenant. I am Nathaniel Howe, Commander Caron's second-in-command. Allow me to take you to her office." He put just the right amount if steel in his voice to let her know he wasn't a mere errand boy.

The woman seemed undaunted, but she did allow him to help her out of the saddle. Once on the ground, she had to tilt her head back to see his face, but that didn't stop her from looking him over at her own leisure, a critical frown between her expressive eyebrows as her eyes wandered slowly down his whole body. And then, suddenly, she favoured him with a bright smile. "With pleasure, Warden Howe. I can't wait to see dear Alix. We are very old friends, you see."

Clearly, he had passed inspection. Nate silently congratulated himself for having put on his full Warden armour earlier today, when he'd met up with a group of merchants from Amaranthine. He had a feeling that his old hunting leathers wouldn't have gone over quite so well.

"Follow me, please. Your Wardens can wait in the Great Hall.  I'll have someone bring them food and drinks. And our grooms will take care of your horses." He motioned for her to come with him, and she fell into step next to him.

They ran into Anders on their way up to Alix' suite, and when Nate introduced him, the Orlesian Warden nodded approvingly. "I see Alix has found herself another mage for her Wardens. Good choice. It is always helpful to have magical support in battle, don't you think?"

Alix was at her desk, poring over some papers, when Nate opened the door to announce their visitor, and for a moment she looked confused, almost dazed. But then a sweet smile lit up her whole face, and she jumped to her feet. "Manon! Oh, _ma chère_ , I had no idea you were coming! I've missed you so much." There was genuine joy on her face as she pulled her friend into a tight hug, and Nate's chest constricted painfully at the sight of it. He hadn't seen her smile so happily since the night of Sigrun's Joining.

Alix had retreated into her shell again in the weeks since Fergus Cousland's visit, locking herself up for hours in her office all by herself, instead of allowing him to join her and help with the workload, as she'd done before. Nate had apologised to her, of course, and she'd graciously forgiven him, but something had changed that day. It was as if she had taken a step back from him, from all of them, and become the Orlesian stranger once more. And it hurt him to see it, hurt him that she had so easily given up on them.

But there was nothing to be done. It was her choice, after all. All he could do was offer his support, and if she didn't want it, he had no right to expect more. Muttering his goodbyes, he left the two of them to their happy chatter. At least Alix was happy again, for the time being.

* * *

"Manon. It's so good to see you. But what brings you to Ferelden?" Reluctantly, Alix let go of Manon.

"Commander Clarel wants to learn more about those talking Darkspawn you've encountered. She asked for volunteers for a mission to Ferelden, and of course I immediately asked to go." Manon smiled brightly. "But let's talk of that later. We have so much to catch up with."

They settled in front of the fireplace together, with two glasses of rich red wine, and for a few hours, Alix allowed herself to forget all about her present duties. It was such a relief to speak her own language again, to laugh and cry with Manon, to let down her guard and just be herself.  It took quite a while for them to go over all that had transpired since Alix had left Jader two years earlier. There was so much gossip to share, so many intrigues to discuss. So many friends and comrades to mourn, too, because death and loss and pain were familiar companions for every Warden.

When they had finally caught up with all that had happened since they'd parted, the room briefly fell silent, the crackling of the wood in the fireplace the only sound to be heard.

Manon was watching Alix, fiddling with her goblet and nibbling thoughtfully on her lower lip. When she spoke again, a sly smile was playing around her lips. "Tell me more about this Nathaniel Howe, will you?"

"What is there to tell?" Alix kept her tone carefully nonchalant. "He was one of my first Wardens here, and he's been a great asset. A highly skilled archer, and he has a deft hand for locks, too. Not quite in the same league as you, but-"

"Alix!" Manon interrupted her with an impressive eyeroll. "You know very well that's not what I want to hear about. Well, not just," she amended. "I'm glad you've surrounded yourself with able fighters. But really…" Her voice turned into a suggestive purr. "Those lovely wide shoulders? The voice, the eyes, the broody look? _Ma chère_ , if I'd known you have such gorgeous men among your Wardens, I'd have come sooner. Here I thought you were lost among the barbaric Fereldans, but I see I have underestimated them considerably."

"Ah. Well, in that case, I'm sorry to disappoint you." Alix shook her head. "Nate is with Anders. They've been together for quite some time now."

"The mage?" Manon raised an eyebrow. "He's very pretty, too. Such a pity, if they're both into men. Think you could persuade them to let you watch, at least?"

"Well… as a matter of fact…" Alix wasn't even sure where the urge to confide in Manon was coming from. But she really needed to talk to someone, someone who would understand and who wouldn't judge her. Quickly, she related the events of First Day's Eve.

Manon's bright blue eyes were wide as saucers. "Really? How very generous of them." She licked her lips. "And… was it good?"

"More than just good." Alix sighed at the memory. "Amazing."

Manon laughed, but it sounded a tad forced. "Damn it, Alix. I should have known. You have always been such a lucky bitch."

"Have I?" The sudden flash of bitterness almost made her choke. "You mean, like with Philippe?"

"Yes, that's exactly what I mean!" Manon shook her head, unperturbed. "Now, don't look at me like that! The two of you had – what? – seven, eight years together? That's a hell of a lot more than most Wardens get, and you know it."

Alix didn't reply. Crude as Manon was, she had a point. She would never stop grieving Philippe, but at least they'd been together, they'd been happy. Few others ever got so lucky. With a pang, she remembered Manon's last lover, a dark-haired Antivan mage who had died during her first foray into the Deep Roads. The girl hadn't been much older than twenty. Alix shivered.

Manon herself seemed to have chosen to focus on other things. "So… you say you have an open invitation to their room, whenever you want?"

"Well, more or less." Alix felt her cheeks heat up. "Nate implied that-"

"And how often have you availed yourself of that privilege?" Manon winked at her.

"I… Once." Alix was beginning to be a bit irritated. "I was depressed and lonely after Sigrun's Joining, and-"

"Once?" Manon's conspiratorial expression had given way to sheer horror. "But, _ma chère_ , what is wrong with you? If I was in your place, once a week wouldn't be enough!"

"Look, I'm their Commander!" Alix shook her head. "I can't just-"

"And why not?" Manon snorted contemptuously. "We are Wardens, Alix, not Templars. We don't have to claim the moral high ground all the time."

"But if the others should find out-" Alix didn't manage to finish the sentence.

"So bloody what!" Manon sounded almost angry. "Look, you of all people should know how soon it can all be over. There's no point in denying yourself a bit of happiness. Or them," she added with a sly grin. "I bet they wouldn't mind a repeat either. The way Nate was looking at you before he left…" She made a rude gesture with her hand. "I'm sure he'd be up for more."

"Maybe he would." Alix sighed. "But really, Manon, what would be the point? They're happy together, and I don't want to mess up things for them."

Manon's eyebrows flew up. "Don't you think that's up to _them_ to decide? I mean, from what you said they were clearly both enthusiastic about the idea. Doesn't sound as if they are half as worried as you are."

"Maybe." Alix was beginning to regret confiding in Manon. "Still, the whole thing has no future. Why would I-"

"Well, I think the _why_ is pretty obvious in this case, don't you think?" Manon shook her head again. "Really, if it was me… But of course, it's none of my business. You do what you want."

_Yeah, sure_. Alix didn't believe for a moment that Manon was ready to let the topic go so quickly. She had seen first-hand how Alix had suffered in the weeks and months after Philippe's departure, and she had done her best ever since to ensure her friend found happiness again. Of course she'd had little success so far, but Alix was certain she meant well.

And maybe, just maybe, this time she had a point.

* * *

Anders had volunteered to take care of the Orlesian Wardens. He was genuinely curious about them, and besides, Nate had all but disappeared after their arrival. The three men from Jader had gone out of their way to be polite, accepting the offered food and wine without any complaints about the unfamiliar fare. Anders didn't know enough of their language to follow their conversation, but the looks that the youngest of them – a tall warrior with a shock of auburn hair – had given him had been eloquent enough. He hadn't flirted back, though, at least not much. He had little interest in anyone but Nate these days.

The other two guys were happily carousing with two of the kitchen maids by the time Anders left the Great Hall to go looking for Nate. He had to admit that it made for a nice change to have visitors from outside, and he rather hoped there'd be more time to chat with them later.

But it was the woman, their leader, that really intrigued him. Manon de Villars was definitely a character, blunt to the point of rudeness, and yet, Anders wondered if her apparent candour was just a front. Judging from her armour and weapons - two wicked looking daggers and an assortment of smaller knives and caltrops – she preferred an altogether more subtle approach. Anders hadn't missed the sharp intelligence in her eyes when she'd looked him over. Besides, Nate had mentioned that she was an old friend of Alix', which was promising in itself. Maybe they could get her to talk, to learn more about Alix' past, and maybe even get her to relax and open up a little again.

Anders hadn't really discussed it with Nate, but he was disappointed by the recent turn of events. He would have loved to explore his magical connection to Alix further, but the last time he'd tentatively tried to reach out for her, he'd found the old barriers firmly in place. And if he was honest, he was hurt by her rejection. After all, _he_ hadn't said or done anything to push her away. Sure, Nate had been an idiot, but there had been reasons for his behaviour, and-

"There you are!" And here was Nate, finally, up on the battlements, leaning against the parapet with a dark frown on his face. "Where have you been all day?"

"Trying to ditch my pursuer," Nate growled, pulling him into a loose embrace. "No, don't look! She's over there, in the dark corner by the tower, and she thinks I haven't seen her." He snorted contemptuously, but he kept his voice carefully down. "As if I could miss her! That woman has been shadowing me for most of the afternoon. She's worse than a hungry mabari, I'm telling you."

"What woman? Manon?" Anders was more surprised than he let on. "Why would she follow you around? I mean, if there's anything she wants to know, she could just ask."

"Somehow I have a feeling that's not her style. But hey," Nate's tone changed, turning playful rather than angry, and now he was pulling Anders closer, running both hands down his back. "Maybe we ought to give her something to look at."

Anders gasped involuntarily. "Nate, you're crazy. Why-"

"Why not?" Before Anders could quite process the answer, Nate had him pressed against the wall of a small tower, grinding against him.

"Because someone could see us?" Anders rolled his eyes, but Nate's hot mouth on his throat was making a very convincing argument for his suggestion.

"That's sort of the point, isn't it?" Nate's grin was decidedly predatory. "Didn't you say you used to do stuff like this all the time?"

And of course, it was true. Back in his Tower days, Anders wouldn't have batted an eyelid at a quick tryst in the corner. But he'd expected Nate to be a lot more worried about propriety. Yet, here they were, out in the open, making out enthusiastically, and Nate was obviously immensely turned on by the whole setup. Their bodies perfectly aligned for maximum friction, and Anders could _feel_ Nate, the whole length of him, through the thin leather of his breeches, and it was intoxicating, making his skin tingle all over. Nate's nimble hands had already succeeded in untying the sash of his robes, baring his chest, and Anders shivered in the cool evening breeze.

"Damn, you're so hot." Nate was panting now, running his hands all over Anders' chest and stomach, further down, going straight for the kill.

Anders' brain kept reminding him that Manon was there, watching, that one of the guards could walk in on them every moment, but when Nate's hand found his cock, there was no way to stop the long, low whine that escaped his throat. It just felt so damn good, the callouses on Nate's fingers as he wrapped them around him, exerting just the right amount of pressure to coax him to full hardness.

"Damn it, Nate. If we do this…" Anders pushed Nate back a little and reached for the laces of his pants. "Then I want to touch you, too."

Nate moaned, deep in his throat, reaching down to help him, and moments later, he was bare, too, magnificently hard and eager, his skin burning like fire under Anders' touch. "Maker, yes. Don't stop."

Anders had no intention of doing so, of course. Instead, he pulled Nate closer again, so he could wrap his fingers around both of them, and then he took a deep breath and focussed. It was always hard to get the amount of magic right, but judging from Nate's stifled gasp, this time he'd succeeded to perfection.

"Again," Nate demanded, staring down at his hand, panting so hard that Anders could see his chest rise and fall. "Damn it, Anders, do that again."

"You sure?" Carefully, he adjusted his grip before reaching for his power again. "This might be over fast, if we're not careful." A second charge flowed from his fingers, and this time he felt Nate twitch in his grasp, felt him shudder all over.

"I don't care. Fast is good." Nate closed his eyes, biting his lip so hard that Anders was afraid he'd hurt himself. "Fuck, this is so… One more."

Smiling, Anders complied, toning the charge down just the tiniest bit. He didn't want Nate to come, not yet. It was far too delicious to keep him hovering on the edge a little longer.

This time, Nate moaned aloud, too far gone to care about their audience. Or maybe he had forgotten about Manon altogether, Anders wasn't sure. He himself was past caring, past worrying about anything else but Nate's pleasure, Nate's cock, hot and heavy in his hand, Nate's hands scrambling for purchase on his back before they finally settled on his ass, pulling him in even closer.

"Anders…" And now he started thrusting, pushing himself into Anders' grip without shame or hesitation, burying his face against Anders' neck to stifle his moans.

And suddenly, everything was far too intense, far too overwhelming for any kind of games, magical or otherwise, and Anders found himself moving in the same rhythm, hard and fast, his whole being focussed on the slide of Nate's cock against his, so good, so _perfect_. One, two, three more thrusts, and his orgasm hit him, so hard that he actually cried out, glad for Nate's arms supporting him, because his knees had turned into jelly, and his heart was pounding like mad.

Nate made a small noise in the back of his throat, grabbing him harder, grinding against him in a last, desperate thrust, and then he was coming, too, coming for what felt like an eternity, coming in great, heaving spurts all over Anders' hand and stomach. It was messy and rough and unrefined, and it was glorious.

"Nate. Fuck, I…" His throat felt tight with emotion, and scratchy from screaming. "I love you so much."

"I love you, too." Nate sounded dazed, but he was smiling like a madman, and he didn't seem in a hurry to cover up.

His right hand had come to rest on Anders' stomach, and he was stroking him in soft circles, massaging their combined juices into his skin. Anders shivered pleasantly, but then a small noise from behind made him twitch, and Nate laughed softly. "All right. Let's get you dressed again."

Together, they managed a quick clean-up before tucking themselves away. Nate carefully straightened out his robes, looking him over with a critical frown. "There. As good as new."

"Thanks." Anders ran a hand through his hair. It felt tousled and slightly damp, but there was nothing he could do about that now. "Is she still there?" he mouthed at Nate.

Nate nodded, almost imperceptibly, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Well, then. Let's go join the others, shall we?"

Anders followed him down the stairs, just barely resisting the urge to turn around and look for Manon. _I wonder what she will make of this?_

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Alix was far too polite to say it, but if she was honest, she was getting the teensiest bit tired of Manon. Of course she loved her friend, and she had missed her during the past two years. And yes, it had been great to catch up, to spend long hours each night gossiping and exchanging confidences. But it had been four days since Manon's arrival at the Keep now, and her constant presence was beginning to wear on Alix. _It's definitely true what they say about visitors and fish._

It was quite a relief when Manon asked to be taken along for a patrol to the Deep Roads, where she hoped to encounter the talking darkspawn Alix had mentioned in her reports.

"You do realize there's no guarantee one of them will show up?" Alix rubbed her temples. She felt a headache coming on. "Besides, I won't be able to take you myself. I have an important meeting with some local dignitaries coming up." And she was _so_ not looking forward to discussing the finer points of regional politics with the mayor and aldermen of Amaranthine.

"But that is not a problem, _ma chère_. You can send your gorgeous Warden Howe with me instead. I'm sure I will be in good hands with him." Manon was positively purring. "And you know what – let me take the mage as well. I bet he will be handy. In a fight, I mean."

Alix felt her jaw tense up further, but all jesting aside, Manon was right. "Sure. You'd better take Sigrun, too, and maybe Oghren. If you really run into an Emissary, you're going to need all the help you can get."

"That is very sweet of you." Manon beamed at her. "We won't be gone long, I hope."

"It will take you at least a week, maybe longer." Alix shook her head. "But don't worry. I'll be fine."

And she was, at first. It was nice to have her evenings all to herself again, to curl up in an armchair with a book and a glass of wine, basking in the peace and quiet of her room. Nice to go for solitary walks on the battlements, with no one around to ask polite questions about the Keep's architecture and to complain about the stiff Fereldan evening breeze. And yet…

As the days went by, she realised that something was missing. And it wasn't Manon's company, even though they'd known each other for so long and they'd gotten along splendidly from the first day they'd met. No, what Alix was craving was something else altogether: Nate's quiet presence at her side as she was talking to the locals; Anders' gentle smile when he showed her a spell he'd been working on; and most of all, the way the two of them were just _there_ , keeping an eye out for her, making sure she got enough rest and didn't overexert herself.

By the seventh night after their departure, when she slid between her sheets, utterly exhausted from spending three consecutive days handling the arldom's extensive paperwork all by herself, Alix was ready to admit it: She missed them, both of them, and not even in a romantic sense. Over the past few months, she'd come to rely on them as friends and allies, and even if she still was convinced there couldn't be a repeat of their nights together, their offer of support didn't deserve to be discarded as easily as she had done. They could be friends, at least, and she vowed to herself that she'd talk to Nate once they were back and apologise for her recent coldness.

Yes, she decided, just as her eyes fell shut. They would talk it over, and they'd continue as friends, just friends. After all, they were all reasonable, grown-up people. They could handle this.

* * *

 

_Maker, I hate the Deep Roads!_ Nate was sure he'd never felt this bored and frustrated. They had patrolled this particular section for days now, hoping to run into another one of the talking darkspawn that had given them so much trouble last year, but to no avail. It seemed as if they had all retreated to whatever filthy nest they had crawled out of in the first place. There was a fair number of genlocks and hurlocks about, and on the fourth night they were attacked by a gaggle of screeching shades that nearly swept away Oghren, before he managed to raise his axe and kill three of them in one fell swoop. But all the darkspawn they encountered were the ordinary kind, vicious and dangerous, to be sure, but with no signs of higher intelligence.

The Wardens from Orlais had proven to be able warriors, and they fought well together. Manon was incredibly fast with her two daggers, and Nate was a bit jealous. His own bow was all but useless in the dark tunnels, and the sword he was using to defend himself was not his favourite weapon, not by any stretch of the imagination. He felt clumsy and graceless wielding it, and he hated the feeling. In contrast, Anders was happily showing off his usual battle routine, raining down fireballs on their enemies and freezing attacking spiders and deep stalkers with a lazy flick of his wrist. Manon didn't say much, but she was clearly impressed, eyeing Anders with an expression that vacillated between awe and arousal. Nate couldn't blame her. He felt much the same himself.

After some scouting, they had set up camp in one of the few intact structures down here, an ancient dwarven guard room. They'd made themselves fairly comfortable there, lining up their bedrolls on one side of the room and building a comforting fire under a crack that provided natural ventilation. There was warm stew and tea to be had at night, and the Orlesians were pleasant enough company. After listening for a while, Nate found that he could recall quite a bit of his boyhood language lessons, enough to understand what they were saying and to throw in a few words himself.

It was all quite bearable, except for the darkness and the regular darkspawn attacks. And the lack of privacy, of course. It was sheer torment, to be with Anders all day long, to watch those long, graceful fingers, wrapped tight around his staff as he worked his spells, to get all worked up thinking about his lithe, slim body – and then to return to camp and be unable to do anything about it. By this time, Nate was just about ready to sneak off into a side tunnel with Anders and have him up against a wall, darkspawn and spiders and damp stone be damned!

"Copper for your thoughts?" Anders' warm hands settled on his shoulders from behind, and Nate shivered all over.

Leaning back, he grimaced at his lover. "Ah, no. I can't risk anyone overhearing us. Trust me, my thoughts aren't suited for polite company right now."

A retching noise from the right, where Sigrun was ladling stew into her bowl, confirmed his words. "Gah." She winked at him good-naturedly. "I'd tell the two of you to get a room, but I'm afraid we're stuck with you here. The roof next door looks hardly safe."

Anders responded with a laugh and an obscene gesture before dropping down on his knees behind Nate, so he could whisper in his ear. "You're not the only one. I swear, Nate, every time you start speaking Orlesian, it's all I can do not to drag you off into a corner."

"Is that so?" Nate didn't bother to hide his grin. "I'll have to keep that in mind for when we get back."

"Oh yeah." Anders breath was hot and sweet against his cheek. "Me, too. Just you wait." His fingers clenched hard on Nate's shoulders. With a last deep sigh, he flicked his tongue once against Nate's sensitive ear lobe, and then he was gone, heading for the door to start his guard shift.

"Damn you, Anders!" Nate cursed under his breath. The brief caress combined with Anders' hotly whispered words, had sent his imagination into overdrive, and he realized there was no way he could get up without embarrassing himself.

Taking deep, slow breaths, he tried to think of something else and to will his erection to subside, but before he had a chance, Manon dropped gracefully onto the floor right next to him, so close that her sleeve brushed against his. Involuntarily, he shuddered all over, just barely avoiding a moan.

Manon shot him a quick look that was altogether too perspicacious, and when she spoke, her voice sounded deep and sultry. "Good evening, Nate." They were on a first-name basis by now, after having fended off several life-threatening attacks side by side. Anything else would have felt weird. "How is your wound?" Manon placed her small hand lightly on his thigh.

He'd taken a genlock arrow to his leg on the first day, but the skirt of his thick leather armour had deflected it. One of Anders' healing spells had taken care of the small scrape.

Nate bit back another curse, hoping she wouldn't move her hand further up and notice his predicament. "It's fine." He probably sounded gruffer than he'd meant to, but his throat felt tight and dry. "It was just a scratch."

"Are you sure?" Manon's grip on his leg tightened almost imperceptibly. "Maybe there is something I could do to make you feel better."

It wasn't the first time she had tried to come on to him. There'd been heated looks and accidental touches, and lots of suggestive remarks, all through their journey. Nate wondered what Alix would make of that, if she knew. _No matter._ He knew what he needed to do. Yes, Manon was pretty and hot, and watching her move in battle, he'd caught himself more than once thinking about how _flexible_ she was, but at the end of the day, Nate knew he didn't want this. Not now, not ever, no matter how horny he was.

"I said it's fine." Shaking his head in irritation, he took hold of Manon's wrist, gently but firmly pushing her hand away. "I can take care of myself."

"Oh my." The corners of her mouth turned up in a dirty grin. "I assume this is as ambiguous in your language as it is in mine?"

"It… oh, damn it!" Nate felt his cheeks heat up, but at the same time he felt a smile tugging at his mouth. _Not the best choice of words, maybe. Or maybe exactly the right one._ "It is," he admitted. "But it's still true, whatever meaning you choose to pick." Stubbornly, he held her gaze, refusing to back down.

"I do not doubt it." There was a raspy quality to her voice, and again, Nate felt the urge to smile. Clearly, he'd gotten to her, in more ways than one. "All right." With a sigh, Manon got to her feet again. "I shall leave you alone, then. Good night, Nate. Sweet dreams." Another cheery wink, and then she returned to her bedroll, exchanging a few robust jibes with her fellow Orlesians as she did so.

Nate exhaled slowly. _Not much longer._ He couldn't wait to be home.

* * *

 

Anders had just begun to allow himself a faint glimmer of hope that they would return home without having to deal with the special kind of awful that went by the name of 'talking darkspawn', when suddenly all hell broke loose.

He hadn't fallen asleep while on watch, nothing as embarrassing as that. But he _had_ allowed his attention to wander a little bit, daydreaming of the gentle caress of Alix' magic, and he'd missed the tiny buzz caused by the darkspawn's proximity. Which was why the genlock arrow that whizzed by his ear took him completely by surprise.

He wasted no more time, though. Calling out a warning at the top of his voice, he turned around just in time to freeze the first wave of attackers in their tracks. A massive stone fist smashing into the first row of genlocks, shattered them all into tiny icicles.

By the time the air had cleared, Nate was already at his side. "Blight it. They couldn't let us sleep?" He was grinning, though, raising his bow to aim for the huge hurlock that was coming around the corner. "At least this tunnel's wide enough for a clear shot."

With a gurgling noise, the hurlock went down, an arrow sticking out of its throat. Anders felt a fierce surge of pride. They could handle this, Nate and him, all by themselves, if they had to. But already the others were there, and Oghren was roaring curses and swinging his axe at the attackers, while Sigrun had disappeared behind their lines and was taking them out one by one from behind.

The Orlesian Wardens weren't idle either. Manon was just about to charge right into the middle of the fray, when a deep voice stopped them all in their tracks.

"Grey Wardens. Your kind has not ventured down here in such numbers for quite some time. What is it you seek?" The leader of the darkspawn charge was taller than an ordinary hurlock and clad in chainmail of the finest quality. And it was clearly talking.

Manon cried out, whether in shock or in delight, it was hard to tell. "By the Maker! It is really true!"

Fighting back the urge to say, 'I told you so', Anders nodded curtly.

"I am Warden-Lieutenant de Villars, and I hail from Orlais. What is your name, creature?" Manon's voice rang out high and clear.

Oghren made a rude noise. "Orlesians and their fancy introductions! I'm telling you, the only thing _I_ want to introduce this filth to is the sole of my boot."

Manon threw him an angry glance, but the darkspawn leader ignored him completely, focussing on her instead. "We do not have names in the sense that you do, Grey Warden. You may call me The Guard." It looked her over slowly and thoroughly. "What is it you seek?"

"You." Manon seemed utterly fascinated, taking several steps forward until she was almost face to face with the creature. "I have never met one of your kind who could talk. I wish to learn more about you."

"I see." The Guard seemed to consider her words for a moment, but then it shook his head and yawned. "No. You bore me. I will not waste more time on you." Raising its arm, it gestured at its followers. "Kill them all."

Somehow, Manon managed to jump back far enough to dodge the full impact of the axe blow it aimed at her. But Anders was close enough to hear the sickening crunch of the blade connecting with her upper arm. _Damn!_ Alix would never forgive them if they didn't bring her friend back in one piece.

Without bothering to check on the others, he leaped to her side, throwing up a protective barrier over both of them. Not a moment too soon – the next blow hit the magic wall so hard he felt it vibrate in every cell of his body. But it held, and now the others were pressing hard forward, and the darkspawn had to retreat.

Anders considered joining them, but Manon's jerkin was already soaked with blood, and he had to focus his energies on healing, if he wanted to save her. Dimly, he heard Nate shout commands in the distance while he used his dagger to cut through the straps of her armour and the linen of her undershirt.

The blow wasn't too deep, and that was a relief. The arm would be black and blue for a few days, but there seemed to be no broken bones, and the rest was easy to mend. Still, the bleeding needed to be stopped, or Manon would be too weakened to make it back to the Keep. Anders worked feverishly, knitting together the torn muscles, willing her body to start healing, numbing her nerves enough to make the pain bearable.

Manon's eyes were wide open, and she was staring at him as if he was a ghost. _Still in shock. Good_. With any luck, she'd be asleep before the worst of the pain set in.

At some point during the healing, the others returned, loud and boisterous, drunk with victory, but when they saw Manon, they all turned quiet.

"Manon! You have to save her!" The young auburn-haired Warden – _Stéphane_ , Anders' brain supplied - stepped closer. He sounded forlorn. "Can you help her?"

"I can, if you leave me alone." Anders knew he sounded brusque, but the last thing he needed now was the additional burden of comforting the young man. "Is anyone else hurt?"

"We're fine." And there was Nate, right by his side, shooing off Stéphane with a quick gesture. "Anything you need?"

"Get me a strong elfroot potion, if there are any left." Anders was more grateful for Nate's support than he liked to admit. His hands were beginning to shake, and he realized that he'd pushed himself too far. "And some lyrium, too."

When Nate returned with the potions, Anders had just finished wrapping a bandage around Manon's arm. With Nate's help, he made her drink up a whole flask of the bitter potion, then downed a vial of lyrium himself, making a face at the taste. "There. That should do it. Now all she needs is rest."

"You, too." Nate's mouth was set in a grim line. "You know you shouldn't-"

"I didn't have a choice, Nate." Anders was too exhausted to argue. "Just get me to my bedroll, will you?" The ground under his feet felt shaky as he got up, and a sudden wave of nausea hit him so hard he almost threw up. The last thing he remembered was Nate's arm around his waist, strong and safe, and then the world went dark.

He awoke much later, to the gentle sound of snoring all around him. The guard room was dark except for a few dying embers in the fireplace. Nate's arm was still wrapped around him, holding him tight, and when he tried to move, Nate made an irritated noise and pulled him even closer. Anders didn't want to wake him, and besides, he was still far too exhausted himself. So, he resigned himself to pins and needles and fell asleep again.

The next time he woke, everyone except for him and Manon was up and about. Sigrun was fiddling around with her backpack, and Oghren was stirring the fire. Nate and the Orlesians were nowhere in sight. Gingerly, he sat up and stretched, pleased to find that he wasn't as sore as he'd feared.

"Ah, you're awake." Sigrun smiled at him. "Nate will be back soon. They've gone out to make sure there are no stragglers left. I don't think they'll find any, though. We got them good last night."

"We sure did." Getting to his feet, Anders made his way over to Manon's bedroll.

She was awake, and when she saw him, she even managed a weak smile. "Anders. Thanks for saving my life."

"That's what I do." He shrugged, but he was secretly pleased. "Let me have a look." Her arm looked fine, with no swelling or other signs of infection. All things considered, that wasn't surprising. _Good thing about being a Warden. You can't get more tainted than you already are._ "You'll be fine," was all he said aloud. "One more day of rest, and then we can head back."

"We can leave today." Manon shook her head impatiently. "I am not that delicate."

"But you lost a lot of blood." Anders put on his best healer's face. "One more day. And lots of food."

"Well, I won't object to _that_." Manon was smiling again, but there were deep shadows under her eyes, and when she tried to sit up, she flinched.

"You're still in pain." Anders reached for his pack and dug out another elfroot potion. "I want you to drink this, as soon as you've eaten."

"Yes, messere." Manon's smile widened, even though there was a strained look around her eyes. "You know, you should order people around more. It is kind of hot, when you sound all strict and severe."

Fortunately, Anders was spared an answer, because right then, there was a commotion near the doorway.

"Ah, Nate is back." Manon was gazing wistfully past him. "Really, I adore Alix, but sometimes I do not understand her at all. That woman doesn't know what is good for her. But hey…" She took the potion from him, her hand brushing against his in passing. "I have an idea. Why don't the two of you come back to Orlais with me? I bet we would get along splendidly. What do you think?"

" _What_?" For a moment, Anders honestly didn't know what to say. But then he firmly shook his head. "I think you are tired and dizzy from the elfroot, and you don't know what you're talking about. I'll get you some stew now." Quickly, he got to his feet. "And afterwards, you really ought to get some rest."

Manon stared at him for a moment, but then she smiled again. "All right. I will be good. But make no mistake." Lying back on her bedroll, she winked up at him. "I know exactly what I am doing."

 


	7. Chapter 7

Nate inhaled the clear spring air deeply, relishing it after the musty dampness of the caves. It was so good to be above ground again, to feel the warmth of the sun on his skin and to know that, once again, they had all returned alive, if not unscathed.

"Well." Manon was sidling up to him with a bright smile. Her arm was still bandaged, but there was a bounce in her step and she looked well rested. "That was interesting."

"That's one way of putting it." Nate glanced back over her shoulder to where the others were emerging from the depths, one by one. "I'm just glad we didn't lose anyone. You could have died down there."

Manon nodded, trying to look suitably chastened and failing miserably. "You are right. And I am _very_ grateful to you and Anders. Did he mention what I suggested to him, by the way?"

Nate couldn't believe his ears. Like Anders, he'd put the whole hare-brained suggestion down to Manon's injury and the attendant fever. "About us going to Orlais with you? Yes, he did."

"And… What do you think?" Manon licked her lips. "I really would appreciate your company, you know. You are both amazing fighters. And when the fighting's done-"

Before she could make another suggestive remark, Nate cut her off. "Manon, I don't mean to be rude, but I really don't get this. Anders and I are perfectly fine where we are. What makes you think we'd be interested in leaving?"

Manon shrugged. "Well, look at it another way. What's keeping you here?" She made a wide, expansive gesture with her right arm. "This is hardly a fitting place for a man of your talents. Orlais, on the other hand… Just imagine: A fresh start, in a place far from here, a new and exciting place, where no one knows about your family's disgrace."

Nate stopped in his tracks. "You think _that's_ what I want?"

But before Manon could answer, they were interrupted by Sigrun, who had gone scouting ahead and was now bouncing toward them as fast as her short legs allowed. "Nate, Anders, quick. I need your help."

She took them to an old, gnarled tree by the roadside, about half a mile ahead. An old man was huddled up in its shade, clutching his leg, his wizened face a mask of pain. He was cursing under his breath, but when he saw them approach, his face lit up.

"Master Nate! My, but you're a sight for sore eyes." He tried to get up to greet them, but the leg immediately folded under him and he collapsed with a cry of pain.

"Wilmot! No, don't move." Nate was at his side in a flash, crouching down next to the old man. "What happened?"

Wilmot harrumphed. "Just an old man being stupid, Master Nate, no more than that. I thought I could take a walk out to the lower pasture and check on the lambs, but the slope here is treacherous and I didn't watch my step. It doesn't seem right to bother you with it, but-"

"Nonsense." Nate felt a fierce surge of affection for the old man. He'd spent countless summer days as a kid playing with Wilmot's sons at the old farmstead, not far from here. There had always been a hearty meal waiting for them in the old farmhouse kitchen after a day in the sun. "Anders here will help you." He motioned for Anders to come closer.

But at the sight of his mage robes, the old man grew pale as a sheet and raised his hand in a sign Nate immediately recognized. _Warding off the evil eye._ "No! Not one of _them_! You're not going to let him use his magic on me, will you, ser? Who knows what he'll do to me?"

Nate flinched at the hurt look that crossed Anders' face. He'd forgotten how superstitious those old farmers could be. "Anders is a healer, Wilmot. He won't harm you."

Anders nodded, kneeling down at Wilmot's side and placing a careful hand on the hurt leg. It was twisted at an odd angle that suggested broken bones if not worse. The old man had to be in considerable pain. It was impressive he was still so coherent.

"I can fix it without magic, if you want me to." Anders voice was gentle, unthreatening. "But it's going to hurt a lot less if you trust me to use my powers."

The old man made a stifled noise, clearly unsure what to do about this. "Master Nate?" He gazed up at Nate with such sheer undiluted trust that it made his throat go tight.

"It is fine, Wilmot." He met the old man's eyes without flinching. "I'd trust Anders with my life. He's a good man."

Wilmot hesitated, but then the pain won over. "All right. Do it."

"Thank you." Anders was smiling a little as he placed both hands on Wilmot's thigh. "Close your eyes," he advised. "It's better if you don't look."

But Wilmot shook his head. "I want to see."

"Fine." Anders shrugged, and at the same time his hands took on the familiar glow of magic. He muttered a few words under his breath and then, when Nate least expected it, he twisted the leg sharply to the right. Wilmot cried out, but it was a sound of surprise, rather than pain. Clearly, Anders had made sure the procedure hurt as little as humanly possible. Still, Nate was impressed. He'd seen many seasoned soldiers faint at the sight of their own injuries. But old Wilmot was as tough as they got, and he didn't even bat an eyelid while Anders applied an elfroot poultice and wrapped the leg tightly in a bandage.

"There you go." Anders lifted his hands and got to his feet. "It's not a miracle cure," he warned. "The bone will mend, but it's going to be brittle for a while. You can't put any weight on it, and you need to rest and eat well. You have someone who will look after you?"

Wilmot nodded. "My eldest boy's wife. She's a good woman and a fine cook." He cleared his throat, and then looked up at Anders. "Thank you, messere."

"No need." Anders smiled at Nate. "I'm glad I could help."

"We need to take you back to the farm." Brushing aside the old man's protest, Nate bent down and lifted him bodily up in his arms. He was light as a feather, almost wasted away with age. _No wonder. He must be at least eighty. And if we hadn't happened to come by, he probably wouldn't have made it._

Shaking off the maudlin thought, Nate focussed on setting his feet carefully on the ground. It wasn't far to go, but he was going to take good care of Wilmot. He knew his duty.

They left Wilmot at the farmstead in the care of his daughter-in-law who alternated between fussing over him and scolding him for being so careless. Nate smiled to himself as they hit the road again. _He'll be fine._

"You knew the man?" And there Manon was again. _Doesn't she ever give up?_

"Yes. He and his forefathers have farmed my family's lands for generations." Nate allowed the teensiest bit of pride to creep into his voice.

"They're no longer your family's lands, though," Manon pointed out, raising an eyebrow. "The Arldom now belongs to the Wardens. As do you."

Nate ground his teeth. He had mostly come to terms with his fate, but it was never pleasant to have his face rubbed in it. "You may find that the simple folk out here don't care very much about these things," he answered. "To them, this is still Howe land. And they haven't forgotten what my family has done for them."

"Despite your father's deeds?" Manon's eyebrow rose even higher.

"My father…" Nate broke off. "There's more to the Howe name than just my father's treachery." He shook his head. "Come on. I want to be back before lunch. I'm hungry."

* * *

 

There was no one there to welcome them in the courtyard, but Anders still felt a happy warmth spread in his belly as he looked up at the Keep's towers. _Home. Finally._ Up in one of the windows, he could make out the slim silhouette of a woman. Alix must have been waiting for them, or maybe she had just happened to look out to see them return. Either way, his heart beat faster at the sight of her. Yes. It was good to be home.

"And here we are. Thank you so much, both of you." Beaming brightly, Manon bodily threw herself into Nate's arms, placing a sound kiss on his cheek. "Such a pleasure to have you with me."

Anders saw Nate flinch, even as he took a quick step to the side to avoid a similar treatment. When he looked up to the window again, Alix had disappeared.

It was Velanna who greeted them in the Great Hall. "You're back. Good." Her smile was frosty. "The Commander expects you in her office in an hour. Which means you have time to grab some food. And hopefully to bathe and change as well." She wrinkled her pretty nose.

When they finally got to see Alix, Anders' heart sank immediately. She looked tense and unhappy, and she listened to their report with detached professional distance. Sure, she asked all the right questions, and she made the appropriate concerned noises, but all the time it seemed as if she wasn't really there. And when they were done, she dismissed them all with a quick gesture.

Manon was undaunted, though. On her way out, she blew a kiss at Nate and Anders, beaming all over, as if she didn't have a care in the world. "Ah, what an adventure! Thank you for keeping me warm out there, _mes amis_!"

Alix blanched. "What-" But Manon had already disappeared. "Nate. Anders. You two, stay." Alix snapped out the command without any attempt at politeness.

Anders had been about to step through the door. On seeing her face, however, he decided that it was better to obey swiftly. Closing the door behind him, he leaned against the heavy oaken boards, doing his best to melt into the background.

Fortunately, Alix was wholly focussed on Nate. "What was that about, Nate?" Anders had never seen her so agitated. "Would you explain?"

"And what exactly would you like me to explain?" Nate had crossed both arms in front of his body, and his forehead was set in a grim frown. _Oh dear_. Anders sighed softly. _He's going to be difficult._

Alix inhaled sharply, but she still managed to keep her composure. "Well, _something_ clearly happened out there, when Manon was injured-"

Nate interrupted her with a fierce snarl. " _Nothing_ happened out there. Nothing at all. She tried, mind you. But I'm not interested in Manon, no matter what she might hope for, and neither is Anders." He took a step forward, right into Alix' personal space. "But if I were… Why would you even care?" He sounded so bitter it made Anders wince.

Alix just stared at Nate for a moment, but then she lowered her gaze. "True. I have no right to make any demands upon either of you."

"That's not what I meant and you know it!" Maker, but Nate had to be really furious to take that tone with her.  "Damn it, Alix, be _real_! You need to stop hiding behind the mantle of commander."  

"Me? Hiding?" Alix' head flew up again and her eyes narrowed. "Oh, that's rich. You have the nerve to say that when you were the one who refused to let me come closer? Who sent me off because your problems are 'none of my business'?"

"I…" Nate swallowed. "You're right. That was stupid, and I apologize. But you haven't answered my question. Why do you care if Manon wants to take us with her?"

"You know why." Alix' voice was barely audible.

"Do I? Do I really?" Nate's tone was still far too aggressive. _Damn it, Nate. Don't push her so hard. Don't you see you're driving her away again?_ Anders desperately wished he could make Nate read his thoughts.

But clearly, telepathy was not his strong suit, because Nate kept pressing Alix. "I think you need to tell us. Or are you scared?"

" _Scared_?" Alix' lips were set in a tight line and she had gone pale with anger. "I don't believe I'm under any obligation to justify my actions to you. You-"

"Oh, blight it!" Anders had tried to stay out of it, he really had, but he'd be damned if he'd let those two idiots ruin things again. "Would the two of you please stop this and admit it already!"

"Admit what?" They answered in such perfect unison, with such identical glares at him that he had to suppress a grin.

"That you're in love, of course." Taking a step closer, he put his arm around Nate's waist, favouring Alix with his best puppy eyes. "For Andraste's sake, don't listen to this idiot, Alix. Look at him!"

"And what would I see if I did?" Alix' voice was still trembling, but she no longer looked quite so angry.

"He's been missing you like crazy, Alix. We both have." Anders saw her lip tremble, and he decided to throw all caution to the wind. "I love you. I want to be with you. And Nate-"

"Me, too." Nate's voice was so hoarse it was hard to make out the words, but now he was taking Alix' hand and breathing a kiss on it. "Alix? I love you. We both do. Please don't send us away again."

Alix didn't reply at once, and the silence that filled the room felt so heavy and ominous that Anders felt suffocated by it, almost as if he was drowning in it. He was about to open his mouth, to try and plead their cause again, when she spoke.

"I won't." Her voice was low, and she was shivering all over. But when she raised her head and looked at them, her eyes were clear and determined. "I won't," she repeated in a louder voice. "I'm not a coward, and I won't send you away. I love you, too."

"Thank the Maker." Anders really, really wasn't the religious type as a rule, but in this moment, he'd have happily dedicated the rest of his life to the Chantry to express his gratitude. _Except that would rather defeat the purpose_. Celibacy had never appealed to him. "So… are we really good?"

"We are," Alix confirmed with a decisive nod. "I'm sorry I didn't trust you."

"I'm sorry, too. I shouldn't have… Please forgive me, Alix." Nate sounded sober. Too sober, maybe, and that wouldn't do.

"Well, I'm glad you two saw the light," Anders quipped. "Oh, and Alix, can we have a little less dramatic tension in the future, please? I think I nearly fainted while I was waiting for you to respond." He clutched his heart in an exaggerated fashion, pretending to sway on his feet.

"Poor you." Alix' lips were twitching. "Maybe you ought to lie down? You know, there's a nice big bed next door."

"Is there?" And now Nate was grinning, too, and that was better. "I think we should take him there, Alix. Just to be on the safe side."

"Absolutely. But kiss me first." Alix extended a hand toward both of them. "Please."

Nate got there first, but Anders didn't mind at all, because that meant that he got to watch, watch the two of them as they kissed, hear the small sounds Alix was making, see the way Nate's hand tightened on her back as he pulled her close.

And then it was his turn and he caught her lips eagerly with his, drinking in her taste, her scent, her sighs. And just when he thought it couldn't get better, Alix shifted a little, and he felt her open up for him, felt her power connect with his, and … _Oh Maker_!

It was so much more intense than last time, when he'd touched her through her clothes, and the magical energy tore through his body like wildfire, irresistible and untameable, setting every nerve ending alight. Dimly he heard Nate cry out in surprise and he wondered if the whole thing had been visible from outside, but at the same time he didn't care, because it felt so amazingly, wonderfully _good_. And he was rock hard, just like that, and he wanted Alix so badly he could barely see straight.

"Bed," he gasped, as he let go of her lips. He was literally seeing stars.

Nate seemed to agree, because suddenly, they were in Alix' bedroom, and their clothes were coming off, and it all felt so _right_ , so perfect, as if it couldn't possibly be any other way. Alix was there with him, on the bed, pale and naked and beautiful, and Nate was on his other side, warm and solid and hairy, and it was the best place in the whole world, as far as Anders was concerned.

"How do you want us, Alix?" Nate's voice was raspy with want and it hit Anders straight in the groin.

"I don't know." Oh, and Alix was practically purring. _This is going to be so good_. But her next words took his breath away. "Perhaps Anders ought to decide. After all…" She smiled at him, looking so happy and mischievous it made his heart miss a beat. "We owe it to him that we've managed to sort this out. Without him, we'd probably still be at each other's throats."

"True enough." Nate chuckled, but then his eyes turned dark. "All right, Anders. What do you want?"

For a moment, he couldn't answer. He'd dreamed of this for weeks, of being together with both of them again, and the possibilities seemed endless. But at the same time, he wanted to stay right where he was, warm and safe between them. And then he _knew_. "I want you both," he croaked, his voice suddenly refusing to obey him.

Nate's eyebrows arched up, but at the same time his tongue darted out to lick his lips. "You mean…"

"Yeah." Anders nodded vigorously, glad to find he could speak again. "I want to make love to you, Alix." He turned to face her. "I want to be inside you, please."

Alix was blushing, but she nodded quickly, and her eyes were eager. "Yes. Of course."

"And I want Nate inside me. At the same time. Yes. That's what I want. Right now." Anders realized that he was beginning to babble.

Behind him, Nate laughed softly. "Then that's what you shall have." He breathed a soft kiss on Anders' spine.

And it all progressed as if in a dream: Alix' long legs wrapped around his waist; her perfect breasts just inches from his face; Nate's hand on his lower back, warm and firm; Nate's fingers gently opening him up, teasing him, making him beg for more.

Alix was wet, wet and open for him, and when he shifted his hips, he slid deep inside her, just like that. He felt a tear run down his cheek, because it felt so wonderful, to be surrounded by her heat, so snug, so perfect. And before he had time to gather his wits, Nate was already there, pushing inside him with single-minded focus, deep and hard, stripping away the last of his defences.

Anders lost it completely at this point, utterly overwhelmed by it all. They were all so close, their bodies firmly intertwined, their heartbeats mingling, melting into each other with nothing held back, no limits, no reservations. He had never felt anything like this, never felt so safe and warm and loved in all his life, and he didn't care a bit that it was hard to move, because he really just wanted to stay like this forever.

Nate had other ideas, though, and when he pulled back and thrust hard, it sent shockwaves all the way through their linked bodies. At the same time Alix wiggled under Anders, placing a hand on his chest to send a single delicious pulse of magic through his body. He wanted to cry out, to tell them that it was too much, too fast, but all he could manage was a whimper.

"Shhh." Nate's voice was warm in his ear. "Let go. I have this."

And Anders did. Somehow, he managed to let go completely, to let them take whatever they wanted from him, to let their touch and their closeness wash all over him, again and again and again, until it got too much, and he could take it no more. Crying out, he poured all of himself into Alix' body in a moment of perfect ecstasy, every cell in his body vibrating with magic and pleasure and love.

Nate followed him only a heartbeat later, and together, they quickly took Alix to her peak, licking and suckling and caressing every inch of her body that they could reach, until she came with a high-pitched scream, clenching hard around his softening cock.

It took them a while to disentangle afterwards, and Anders was too exhausted to raise his head from the pillow, too blissed out to even lift a finger. Next to him, Nate was lying stretched out on his back, looking utterly relaxed. But when Anders reached for Alix, she shook her head and wiggled out of his grasp. With quick, economic movements, she got up and reached for her clothes.

"What are you doing?" Anders still wasn't thinking clearly, but he missed her warmth already. "Come back to bed."

"I will." Alix' face was grim as she tied the belt of her robes. "But there's something I need to take care of first."

* * *

Taking deep, regular breaths, Alix forced herself to remain calm as she headed down the corridor towards Manon's room.

The hour she'd spent waiting in her room, waiting for the patrol to come up and make their report, had been one of the longest in her whole life. She'd spent it pacing the room, tormented by visions of Nate in Manon's arms, Anders kissing her eagerly, both of them wrapped around her slim body… Alix had never thought of herself as prone to jealousy, but for one long hour, the green-eyed monster had been eating at her, burrowing deep inside her, and she had hated every moment of it.

And now Manon was going to pay.

Alix found her sitting in a chair by the fire, a book in hand, a glass of wine next to her on the table. When Manon saw her, she put the book aside and got to her feet with a bright, innocuous smile. "Alix! How sweet of you to come by for a little chat."

It was the feigned innocence that did it. Had Manon shown any sign of remorse, Alix would have been able to keep it together. But that smile set off a surge of rage that she simply couldn't control. Before she had a chance to stop it, magic burst from her fingertips, powerful, violent magic. Manon was slammed hard against the wall, held upright only by the deathly grip of an invisible hand around her throat.

"How dare you!" Alix had trouble forcing out the words between her clenched teeth. "How could you do this to me? What were you even _thinking_?"

Manon was breathing hard, doing her best to wiggle out of the magical hold, but in vain. "But, _chère_ Alix, I don't even know what-"

"Stop playing the innocent!" Alix was too far gone to mince words any longer. "I trusted you, Manon. I sent them with you to keep you safe. And as soon as I turn my back, you've got nothing better to do than trying to seduce them? Both of them? How could you?" She was too busy raging to watch Manon's face, but when she paused for breath, she was surprised to hear a soft laugh.

And sure enough, Manon was grinning, like a cat that had happened to come across a particularly large pot of cream. "Well, you have to admit it worked."

"It… _what_?" Alix shook her head in confusion. "What do you even mean?"

"I'll tell you if you let me breathe again." Manon gasped dramatically, and Alix mentally rolled her eyes. She really hadn't held her _that_ tightly.

But she did loosen the magical grip. Manon took a deep, relieved breath and rolled her shoulders, making a show of checking for injuries. When Alix pointedly cleared her throat, she started to laugh again. "No, but… would you just look at yourself?" She pointed at Alix. "Bed hair, lips red from kissing, hickeys all over your neck… honestly, I haven't seen you look so well-fucked and happy in years."

Alix felt a rush of heat to her cheeks. _Damn_! She should have checked in the mirror before rushing over, but that was neither here nor there, really. "I still don't see how-"

"Oh, Alix. Really?" Manon was wiping her eyes, and the look she gave Alix was almost pitiful. " _Two_ men? You know me. You know I can barely handle one on a good day. I mean, granted, they are hot, but did you honestly think I wanted them for myself? Now, if it were that hot elven lady we were talking about…"

"Trust me, you don't want to go there," Alix replied absent-mindedly. Her head was spinning like crazy as the realisation hit her. What a fool she'd been! Of course she knew Manon vastly preferred women. In all the years they'd known each other, she'd never had more than a brief fling with a guy. "But I thought…"

" _Non,_ _ma chère_." Manon categorically shook her head. "You didn't think at all. If you had, you'd have seen right through my little scheme. But you were so insanely jealous that you didn't even consider using that clever brain of yours." An unexpected warm smile lit up her face. "Because you love them, Alix. Don't you?"

Alix hesitated, but really, it was pointless to deny it. "I do. Very much."

"I knew it!" Manon's grin was way too smug. "I knew you just needed a little nudge. Aren't you glad I provided it?"

"You could have just talked to me," Alix grumbled, but in her heart of hearts, she knew that it wouldn't have been enough.

And so did Manon, clearly, because she didn't even bother to contradict her. "I knew it," she repeated, reaching for the wine carafe and quickly filling two glasses. "Here's to a happy future for the three of you."

Alix shook her head in exasperation, but she accepted the proffered glass with good grace. And later, when she headed back to her room, to her bed and the two men waiting for her there, she smiled to herself.

_A happy future indeed_.

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the CMDA Secret Santa fic exchange. Hugs and thanks to my wonderful beta suilven


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